Listen mate. Install a bum gun, Asian squirty trigger hose instead of smearing shit from arsehole to breakfast time. I haven't purchased dunny paper in 4 years.
A bum gun? Do I shoot my arse? Poor thing! It has failed me miserably over the years, now having clinkers as hard as black diamonds, could cut glass with these, but who wants to cut glass anyway. Thanks for not helping. And as for hair stuck in the teeth, how hiddies that is!
Mate, I can help but it seems your ear way is more problematic than your arse hair.
In all seriousness, if your arse really does stench it won't have anything to do with hair. You may have internal fissures and or haemaroid which can result in constant weeping of mucus what a fella puts down to havinga sweaty hairy arse. The sphincter is a closed orifice except when in use. Go to the doc and sort it out.
However, in terms of spraying your arse with water, it is much more hygienic than smearing shit from your ball sack to breakfast time with toilet tissue. The pressure applied is personal choice. Every time you crap, you cake hole gets a complete flush, no dangleberries, smeared shit throughout your gorilla arse hair and your wife will think you smell like roses compared to now. Believe me, the bum gun is part your solution.
The bidet arrives in February. The arse problem is caused by loss of muscle activity due to emphysema, i.e. arse extremely difficult to wipe without losing breath drastically. I have nearly passed out twice just doing that. There is also a Japanese toilet that flushes the arse automatically but am afraid it might swallow it.
whao, that's some serious emphysema. I'm feeling your pain. Those Jap startrek style shitter are something else. Top of the range, $1,500-$2,000, comes with soap spray, rinse, gentle blow dry followed by a fragrant powder puff. Your wife would be well pleased with such an installation. Not just by your sweet smelling arse but you'll have breath left for more intimate endeavours than arduous arse wiping, waxing and bleaching. The Japs aren't stupid, invest a little in the right areas of creature comfort and the benefit flows through all aspects of a fulfilling life. I forgot, some Jap models massage your buttocks, assisting in relaxing the sphincter.
Nope, a trigger activated hose attached to every middle class SE Asian shitter for washing the shit off your arse. hygienic and refreshing, heated in hi-so and 5 star hotel shitters. Best invention of the 20 century . I have them in every every shitter in my joint.
Is it normal to have a hairy bottom?
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Listen mate. Install a bum gun, Asian squirty trigger hose instead of smearing shit from arsehole to breakfast time. I haven't purchased dunny paper in 4 years.
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mclinking
10 years ago
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A bum gun? Do I shoot my arse? Poor thing! It has failed me miserably over the years, now having clinkers as hard as black diamonds, could cut glass with these, but who wants to cut glass anyway. Thanks for not helping. And as for hair stuck in the teeth, how hiddies that is!
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Gravy
10 years ago
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Xtermy
10 years ago
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Mate, I can help but it seems your ear way is more problematic than your arse hair.
In all seriousness, if your arse really does stench it won't have anything to do with hair. You may have internal fissures and or haemaroid which can result in constant weeping of mucus what a fella puts down to havinga sweaty hairy arse. The sphincter is a closed orifice except when in use. Go to the doc and sort it out.
However, in terms of spraying your arse with water, it is much more hygienic than smearing shit from your ball sack to breakfast time with toilet tissue. The pressure applied is personal choice. Every time you crap, you cake hole gets a complete flush, no dangleberries, smeared shit throughout your gorilla arse hair and your wife will think you smell like roses compared to now. Believe me, the bum gun is part your solution.
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mclinking
10 years ago
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The bidet arrives in February. The arse problem is caused by loss of muscle activity due to emphysema, i.e. arse extremely difficult to wipe without losing breath drastically. I have nearly passed out twice just doing that. There is also a Japanese toilet that flushes the arse automatically but am afraid it might swallow it.
--
Gravy
10 years ago
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whao, that's some serious emphysema. I'm feeling your pain. Those Jap startrek style shitter are something else. Top of the range, $1,500-$2,000, comes with soap spray, rinse, gentle blow dry followed by a fragrant powder puff. Your wife would be well pleased with such an installation. Not just by your sweet smelling arse but you'll have breath left for more intimate endeavours than arduous arse wiping, waxing and bleaching. The Japs aren't stupid, invest a little in the right areas of creature comfort and the benefit flows through all aspects of a fulfilling life. I forgot, some Jap models massage your buttocks, assisting in relaxing the sphincter.
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mclinking
10 years ago
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You seem to be very clued up about botty problems. Have you got a personal or financial interest in all this?
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Gravy
10 years ago
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Nope, making it up. I but did look at importing them to Australia but they require electricity.
I think by "bum gun" he meant a bidet...
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Gravy
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Nope, a trigger activated hose attached to every middle class SE Asian shitter for washing the shit off your arse. hygienic and refreshing, heated in hi-so and 5 star hotel shitters. Best invention of the 20 century . I have them in every every shitter in my joint.