Is it normal to have a friend w/ benifits while you have a girlfriend?

I have had a friend with benifits for a little less than a year now.We've always been best friends,but we couldn't seem to find luck in relationships,and we didn't want to risk out friendship,so we chose to be FWB's.Now,however,I have met a wondeful girl who is another friend's cousin,and we've really hit it off.I wanna ask her to be my girlfriend,but for some reason,I don't wanna end my FWB's relationship.Is this normal? And if I don't wanna cut out my FWB and I's relationship,does this mean I might have feelings for her too?

Thanks.

Voting Results
46% Normal
Based on 168 votes (78 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 16 )
  • amberinboston

    People are so confused about their feelings and emotions these days. They're soooo scared to say "I love you" or "I care about you" yet they literally JUMP into physical intimacy that they CLAIM REquires little to no emotion...but the thing is....unless were robots we have a heart, mind and soul and we FEEL AND THINK WITH MORE THAN OUR GENITALS....SO SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW SOMEONE WILL GET HURT WITH "no strings attached sex". Especially if its done on the regular.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Ninjagirl

    You have to make a decision between your FWB or this new girl in my opinion. There's no way around it... if you start dating this new girl, she's not going to be ok with your FWB situation, neither will your FWB... which is why the whole FWB thing often ends in drama. Sorry but you have to choose

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Aleks85

    Cut one of them loose (sexually) or you are an asshole. End of story.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • firefly88

    maybe the new relationship will provide even better sex than the fwb does who knows. The new relationship is not serious yet so no need to end the fwb relationship yet. When it gets serious you and the girl should establish what kind of relationship you want to be in, whether it is open or exclusive. Have fun an never deceive or hurt another individual cuz karma can be a bitch

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • asianninja

    Uhm yes, you have feelings for her

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • bigsis101

    i had a FWB no strings attached etc. Now he'd my boyfriend and who loves me so much. we've been together a while now xxx

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • cass

    if you dont want to cut off your FWB that means yes u have developed feelings for her and its no longer just friends with benefits.

    if u didnt have feelings for her then you would have no problem brushing her off for someone you reallly careee abouttt :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • amberinboston

    Also...if u don't totally cut it off,,,if u end up dating the new girl and you get upset, angry or pissed off you're gonna run to the fwb

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • R34skyline

    i went through the same thing but all i did was end the FWBs thing and dated the girl i loved and its been 6 months into a realtionship and everything is going perfectly fine

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • KimmyKhaosXD

    drop the fwb, date the new girl. if u and the new girl end go back to the fwb, fwb are theyre no matter what, for doing naughty stuff, when you have no one else to do it with. dont cheat though its not right, and will only end in hurt and drama.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • cubinsc

    You strung out the FWB relationship too long in my opinion. You should have put a hold on it immediately when you started dating the new girl. Now you'll have something you have to either hide or admit to her and face the consequences. Sure, it's normal to want to keep a steady source of sex. Doesn't make it right though.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Alaskaraven

    Sounds so easy, but I guararentee you that

    "stepping back the FWB status to just friends for a little while" will go over like a fart in church.

    For all intents and purposes, she IS your present GF. You are close, you have sex, and you think she is going to be OK w/ you deciding you would rather have someone else as a GF while still screwing her?

    SOMEONE ELSE getting the special gifts at Valentines day, Xmas, B-day, out to nice dinners and dates, phone calls, etc while you call her your FRIEND and try to have sex w/ her?? Or STOP having sex w/ her in favor of someone else? kind of twit, stupid men...

    Best advice [from a woman] is for you to find someone for her that she will think is SO DAMNED GREAT, that SHE would want to back it up to where you were before...

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • PotatoDumplng

    It is entirely possible you have feelings for your FWB. What I would recommend would be to have a conversation with your FWB first of all. Maybe think on your feelings for a night first... then discuss with them that you're unsure how you feel. Get their input on how they feel about your current relationship.

    I would suggest perhaps stepping back the FWB status to just friends for a little while, so you can mutually assess your feelings. In that time try dating this other girl... and although I'm still under 30 myself I mean "dating" in the old 50s way.

    Our younger generations seem to have shifted the word "dating" to where "going steady" was back in the 50s. What I am suggesting is go on a few dates with this new girl you're interested in but do NOT become boyfriend/girlfriend right off the bat. Please realise you don't have to be in a commited relationship right after you've asked someone out, ok?

    Go on a few dates, make sure you communicate to her that you'd like to get to know her better and that way the two of you can decide if you're both interested in "going steady" after that. Hell, you may even go on some date-dates with your current FWB (but I'd say hold off on sex since it may muddy your thoughts as you weigh options)to see if one or the other of these people is a good fit for romance. May turn out that neither are, but you'll have given it a try.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • TalkAndTouch

    Have a chat with your FWB now.

    See if she what SHE wants to do.

    On the OTHER hand, how are you planning to explain to the 'new' girl that YES you want her as a girlfriend - - BUT you retain the right to hang on to your FWB. Awkward one!!

    A few years ago my (then) gf went to Jamaica with friends - she hooked up with a black guy.
    When she got home she said that No she didnt want to split BUT she 'needed' a black lover too. In other words, she got her FWB + me.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Aleks85

      how incredibly sad for you, and pathetic you are.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
    • battlecat

      Swinger

      Comment Hidden ( show )