Doesn't matter if it's normal or not. (It is, by the way. I'm 44. It's called a midlife crisis.) What matters is that you don't act on it, and get your head out of that place. Feeling guilty won't help. Looking at her pictures won't help. And the babysitting thing has to end, no question about that. What you need to do is think about how ridiculous this attraction is, and how gross guys look when they're hitting on a girl half their age. Picture how badly it'd screw up her life and yours if you ever acted on it. Realize that you are, to some extent, sidelining her from a healthy h.s. experience by hanging around. Girl doesn't want to look back on her life and realize that she got mixed up with a relative when she was a teenager. And you and her are kind of mixed up already.
is it normal to have a crush on a teenage girl when im 39?
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Doesn't matter if it's normal or not. (It is, by the way. I'm 44. It's called a midlife crisis.) What matters is that you don't act on it, and get your head out of that place. Feeling guilty won't help. Looking at her pictures won't help. And the babysitting thing has to end, no question about that. What you need to do is think about how ridiculous this attraction is, and how gross guys look when they're hitting on a girl half their age. Picture how badly it'd screw up her life and yours if you ever acted on it. Realize that you are, to some extent, sidelining her from a healthy h.s. experience by hanging around. Girl doesn't want to look back on her life and realize that she got mixed up with a relative when she was a teenager. And you and her are kind of mixed up already.