This sounds a lot like the book Jeanette Winterson- Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit.
I feel awfully sorry for you and I think "coming out" is extremely difficult, especially if your parents don't accept it.
My best friend came out when she was 17, she got kicked out of her home for it and she lost a few friends over it. Over time people accepted her (her mother doesn't like it at all but she's accepts it although they still don't talk about it) and although it took a long time she is now completely herself and is happy in life.
When you hide something like this to yourself you can't 100% be happy because you're not being you. Your parents wont like it at all but are you living your life or theirs? At the end of the day they're your parents, they should love you no matter what. It may take a long time but in time they should accept it. I think eventually you will be forced to just tell them, you'll have had enough of hiding and you'll get to the point where you'll think "if they accept it then great, if not oh well".
And I agree- God made you that way. You're not a horrible person and you're not harming other people so why should your sexual orientation stop God loving you?
This is your life and you only get one shot at it and if you're not happy what is the point? I can only imagine how difficult this is so I wish you all the best =) good luck
Is it normal to hate yourself because of your sexual orientation?
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This sounds a lot like the book Jeanette Winterson- Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit.
I feel awfully sorry for you and I think "coming out" is extremely difficult, especially if your parents don't accept it.
My best friend came out when she was 17, she got kicked out of her home for it and she lost a few friends over it. Over time people accepted her (her mother doesn't like it at all but she's accepts it although they still don't talk about it) and although it took a long time she is now completely herself and is happy in life.
When you hide something like this to yourself you can't 100% be happy because you're not being you. Your parents wont like it at all but are you living your life or theirs? At the end of the day they're your parents, they should love you no matter what. It may take a long time but in time they should accept it. I think eventually you will be forced to just tell them, you'll have had enough of hiding and you'll get to the point where you'll think "if they accept it then great, if not oh well".
And I agree- God made you that way. You're not a horrible person and you're not harming other people so why should your sexual orientation stop God loving you?
This is your life and you only get one shot at it and if you're not happy what is the point? I can only imagine how difficult this is so I wish you all the best =) good luck