Oh my, I know EXACTLY how you feel. It feels like there are two completely different ways of looking at him, one way you love him to death and he is perfect, and the other times you can't believe you're putting up with him and you hate him for what he's done to you. You want to feel valuable to him, because you gave him your virginity, a sign of deep trust and affection, but when he rudely talks about and openly notices other girls you feel unappreciated and worthless, because what you gave him seems replaceable.
If that's how you feel, then I know the feeling. I haven't lost my virginity because I'm all religious saving it for marriage thing, but I completely gave myself away emotionally to this one guy and I think it is comparably the same thing.
What you have to do is two things. First, find ways to build up your self-esteem independent of your boyfriend, and have friends and a life outside of him. Secondly, do not base your self worth on how you compare to other girls. This is extremely difficult to do, I know, but it is necessary.
Boys mature much more slowly than girls. I don't know how old you are, but if you guys are under 25 his brain (and possibly yours) hasn't fully matured yet. I know mine hasn't. And guys can't help being sexually attracted to girls besides their girlfriend. Some girls can, some can't, but I have never heard of a guy who could. They are very sexually wired, it's natural instinct, not really their fault. And that doesn't mean he loves you any less. For guys, sex has much less emotional connection than for girls.
Work on being independent from him, if you want to continue the relationship, that's fine, but be independent. Be an individual. It will make you feel much better about yourself and your relationship I believe.
Is it normal to hate your boyfriend, but still love him?
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Oh my, I know EXACTLY how you feel. It feels like there are two completely different ways of looking at him, one way you love him to death and he is perfect, and the other times you can't believe you're putting up with him and you hate him for what he's done to you. You want to feel valuable to him, because you gave him your virginity, a sign of deep trust and affection, but when he rudely talks about and openly notices other girls you feel unappreciated and worthless, because what you gave him seems replaceable.
If that's how you feel, then I know the feeling. I haven't lost my virginity because I'm all religious saving it for marriage thing, but I completely gave myself away emotionally to this one guy and I think it is comparably the same thing.
What you have to do is two things. First, find ways to build up your self-esteem independent of your boyfriend, and have friends and a life outside of him. Secondly, do not base your self worth on how you compare to other girls. This is extremely difficult to do, I know, but it is necessary.
Boys mature much more slowly than girls. I don't know how old you are, but if you guys are under 25 his brain (and possibly yours) hasn't fully matured yet. I know mine hasn't. And guys can't help being sexually attracted to girls besides their girlfriend. Some girls can, some can't, but I have never heard of a guy who could. They are very sexually wired, it's natural instinct, not really their fault. And that doesn't mean he loves you any less. For guys, sex has much less emotional connection than for girls.
Work on being independent from him, if you want to continue the relationship, that's fine, but be independent. Be an individual. It will make you feel much better about yourself and your relationship I believe.