Is it normal to go back to your ex after so much pain and suffering

I'm in a relationship w my former roommate now for a yr+ living together entire time..right after a divorce, I'm 36 and he's 23... we worked together at first then I got fired 8 months in for attendance over all the court stuff I was going through and he quit same day after working there for 4 yrs.. thinking w his experience he'd find another job quickly, I supported his decision, considering it was swing shift and very difficult to have a life while working there but soon after I found myself paying all the household bills & my own bills. Literally everything while he. Continues to get behind on his new car andother small loans.. meaning lots of sleepless nights.. still to this present moment.. I love him so much.. he's young but he's an old soul and I feel like he understands and gets me more than anyone ever has. We have a great time together always laughing and we spend lots of time watching movies.. football, and listening to music.. etc 90% good times. Not much outdoor activities or anything special going on anymore that we're broke and behind on bills.. I'm getting tired of stressing and feeling as if I'm settling and going wo things I'm accustomed to just because I love him so much but see now I have an opportunity to go back to my home that I shared w my ex-husband for 13 yrs (which is very much a man (42 yrs old ) and very willing to make sure all my needs are meet). The divorce was sort of forced wasn't by choice it was by need because of his behavior at the time was sort of somewhat scary but after three years now I've been separated from him things have calmed down and I see that I miss him sometimes and realize that we were just the perfect pair on top of our game but at the same time we don't actually get along that well due to resentment and the physical attraction might not be there the same way it used to be I'm afraid I might not be able to be intimate with him if I go back.. my question is what is the normal decision here should I stay in the relationship that I'm in & continually try to dig both of us out of debt and fully commit to this relationship or should I refuse to settle and go back home to my ex husband and my kids where financial worry isn't a concern... and focus on giving my kids a better more stable life... I'm confused beyond Belief that I could even consider letting my ex back in after all the pain he's caused.. but he is the missing part to me if I'm going to be honest his household can't function properly wo me and mine can't either wo him, so what do I do.. I'm torn here my thoughts are scattered my choices are many and everyone's happiness and future depends on me and my decision and I don't want to hurt either of them.. but time is running out for my sanity... I just want to make final decisions and be able to life w it wo regrets... any advice is greatly appreciated.