but won't i lose them as friends or family if i don't do what they say? how do i show them how much i appreciate them? if i don't please people i am being selfish and a narcissist, and that is the last thing i would want. Selfish, narcissistic people are psychotic people who rape, kill and not give a damn about anyone but themselves, i would kill myself before i would become like that. There are no other options....people are either all giving or all psychotic, there is nothing in between.....one or the other, that is it!
Your thinking lacks logic. Completely. The fact that you think people are all one way or the other proves that. Nothing is black and white like that. Whether or not to do a favor should depend on the situation. If your friends expect you do things for you then you probably don't really have friends. You just have people who use you because they most likely see you as weak. If anyone says you are being selfish and narcissistic for not doing what they say it is obvious to me that they are manipulating you. There is nothing selfish about saying "no".
I will give you some examples of what is logical responses to certain fictional situations since you seem to have a hard time with that.
Example 1:
Your friend is going out of town for a week and wants you to feed their cat while they are gone. They offer to take you out to dinner for the favor and they have also helped you by picking you up when you were stranded out of town.
My input on this situation is that it is a reasonable request because they seem to be a friend who doesn't ask for too much and would probably do the same favors for you.
Example 2:
Your friend wants you to hook up their new entertainment system while they take a nap. You don't have any skill that they don't have and they are just as capable of doing it. They ask for stuff like this all the time and say you are selfish if you say no.
My input on this situation is that it is an unreasonable request because they can do it themselves and are just taking advantage of you. They most likely see you as weak and are using you as their slave. They will manipulate you by saying you are selfish or that you owe them.
...Most situations will be a bit more tricky than these ones but I hope I gave you some insight into what is and isn't a reasonable request. Remember the answer is always to do that you think is reasonable. Putting your own desires first is never selfish because you cannot help anyone if you don't help yourself first. How can you help someone if you have more problems than they do?
IIN to give in to everyone to the point of misery and hide it?
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but won't i lose them as friends or family if i don't do what they say? how do i show them how much i appreciate them? if i don't please people i am being selfish and a narcissist, and that is the last thing i would want. Selfish, narcissistic people are psychotic people who rape, kill and not give a damn about anyone but themselves, i would kill myself before i would become like that. There are no other options....people are either all giving or all psychotic, there is nothing in between.....one or the other, that is it!
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Your thinking lacks logic. Completely. The fact that you think people are all one way or the other proves that. Nothing is black and white like that. Whether or not to do a favor should depend on the situation. If your friends expect you do things for you then you probably don't really have friends. You just have people who use you because they most likely see you as weak. If anyone says you are being selfish and narcissistic for not doing what they say it is obvious to me that they are manipulating you. There is nothing selfish about saying "no".
I will give you some examples of what is logical responses to certain fictional situations since you seem to have a hard time with that.
Example 1:
Your friend is going out of town for a week and wants you to feed their cat while they are gone. They offer to take you out to dinner for the favor and they have also helped you by picking you up when you were stranded out of town.
My input on this situation is that it is a reasonable request because they seem to be a friend who doesn't ask for too much and would probably do the same favors for you.
Example 2:
Your friend wants you to hook up their new entertainment system while they take a nap. You don't have any skill that they don't have and they are just as capable of doing it. They ask for stuff like this all the time and say you are selfish if you say no.
My input on this situation is that it is an unreasonable request because they can do it themselves and are just taking advantage of you. They most likely see you as weak and are using you as their slave. They will manipulate you by saying you are selfish or that you owe them.
...Most situations will be a bit more tricky than these ones but I hope I gave you some insight into what is and isn't a reasonable request. Remember the answer is always to do that you think is reasonable. Putting your own desires first is never selfish because you cannot help anyone if you don't help yourself first. How can you help someone if you have more problems than they do?