Two years is an awfully long time for most, I think. It depends entirely on the person though. The relationship I'm currently in, if I left tomorrow, I think I'd feel perfectly fine within 24 hours. But I've also been so in love that the pain of separating lasted well beyond what I thought was "normal." Each person and situation is different; there is no set amount of time a person should be expected to move on in.
Be honest with him about how you are feeling, especially if you consider him a friend first - friends should be honest with friends. It doesn't have to be a full-blown confession either, just a simple direct sentence is all that is needed and see how he responds. Persist with small explanations after that if you don't think he's catching on.
If he doesn't feel the same, reassure him you won't allow it to affect your friendship, but you thought you should bring it up in case he felt the same.
I agree, but it was his first love. He had a hard life so when he got something good, he threw all of his eggs into the basket. When it ended, he was left with nothing because he didn't know anything else. He relied on her to make him happy for over two years then suddenly he had no one to lean on.
I usually drop hints and test the waters without realizing it. It's why I'm so worried about coming off too strong, for the amount of time we've gotten to know one another.
Thanks for the advice. I'll try to give it more time to get to know him then decide how to go about talking about it.
Ouch. First love, that's a toughie, eh. He could be a little more delicate about moving on than average then. Hopefully, he's not just using you as a personal sounding-board. If possible, you could start limiting the amount of discussion you are having with regard to his ex; as in, keep it to less than 5% of your total conversation topics.
Talking about a past relationship with someone who could potentially be a new romance is normal, especially discussing the pros and cons of from the point of view that it was a learning experience. However, sometimes when people are clearly not over a past relationship, they try to keep the feeling of love alive in their heart by obsessively talking about it with a willing listener. If you want a romantic connection with him, you don't want to be this listener.
Is it normal to get obsessed over someone so easily?
← View full post
Two years is an awfully long time for most, I think. It depends entirely on the person though. The relationship I'm currently in, if I left tomorrow, I think I'd feel perfectly fine within 24 hours. But I've also been so in love that the pain of separating lasted well beyond what I thought was "normal." Each person and situation is different; there is no set amount of time a person should be expected to move on in.
Be honest with him about how you are feeling, especially if you consider him a friend first - friends should be honest with friends. It doesn't have to be a full-blown confession either, just a simple direct sentence is all that is needed and see how he responds. Persist with small explanations after that if you don't think he's catching on.
If he doesn't feel the same, reassure him you won't allow it to affect your friendship, but you thought you should bring it up in case he felt the same.
--
Anonymous Post Author
10 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
I agree, but it was his first love. He had a hard life so when he got something good, he threw all of his eggs into the basket. When it ended, he was left with nothing because he didn't know anything else. He relied on her to make him happy for over two years then suddenly he had no one to lean on.
I usually drop hints and test the waters without realizing it. It's why I'm so worried about coming off too strong, for the amount of time we've gotten to know one another.
Thanks for the advice. I'll try to give it more time to get to know him then decide how to go about talking about it.
--
[Old Memory]
10 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Ouch. First love, that's a toughie, eh. He could be a little more delicate about moving on than average then. Hopefully, he's not just using you as a personal sounding-board. If possible, you could start limiting the amount of discussion you are having with regard to his ex; as in, keep it to less than 5% of your total conversation topics.
Talking about a past relationship with someone who could potentially be a new romance is normal, especially discussing the pros and cons of from the point of view that it was a learning experience. However, sometimes when people are clearly not over a past relationship, they try to keep the feeling of love alive in their heart by obsessively talking about it with a willing listener. If you want a romantic connection with him, you don't want to be this listener.