Is it normal to get in trouble for confessing my love to a teacher?
I believe I have met my first love. I met a pe teacher 11 years older than me in July 2006 on a trip when it was his first day with my school. The very first second I saw him when I was only 13 I got extremely strong feelings toward him. Literally love at first sight. He has become inextricably linked to me throughout teenagehiid. We bith still go to the same school and I leave in a few months. He has never taught me but I was a prefect for his younger tutor group for a year and saw him for about thirty mins a week in his company. When I wasn't his prefect I saw him for maximum 10 seconds a week so it surprises me that my feelings have lasted nearly 5 years. It's affected me ever since I realised about 18 months ago that I was properly and deeply in love with him; crushes and infatuations fade as we all know. When reading this you must consider the extent of my feelings and how long they have lasted based on the above circumstances. It has over the past year affected me greatly causing me mild depression and fluctuating mood swings: ecstatic then depressed and alternating (but only part time). I have also been unable to like anyone else without feeling guilty towards the teacher as if my faith and love towards him has become like an unbreakable promise. I have told many friends about this but none seem to understand and what I really want and feel I need to do is tell him how I feel. He has become such a HUGE part of me I could not live with myself knowing that he never knew for sure.
The problem is how to do this and what I would really like help on is the legal situation regarding a love confession that is NOT mutual. Could I get into trouble through my school or legally by writing a lette say venting my feelings? Would it get him in trouble although it was not mutual and all from me? The last thing I want is the man I love losing his job or hating me for what I did. No matter what, I simply have to tell him I can't see I any other way.
In terms of how he feels for me.. Even though I am fully aware that when people desperately want someone to match their feelings they wish things and misinterpret situations to Suit their needs eg thinking they love you back like being deluded and naive, I can say for certain that he feels something (no matter how small) back. Just the way he looked at me sometimes or the certain unattainable romance in the air on those brief times we were alone. There have been maybe 5 ocassions when I definitely sensed something within him of affection/romance towards me and what I mean is that I'm not deluded like praying for it. I am CERTAIN. Burnif course he has not done anything about it because of school rules. I want to tell him how I feel in case there is the slightest chance he is feelin the same!!
Someone please help I am truly in love with him and its killing me