Is it normal to get angry like this?

I'm not mad right now but I get mad alot and my moods do change instantly from very high to very low and I got severe anger issues when I'm angry my whole body is red and I shake and my eyes get bloodshot or I scream or cry or hold it in, but I wouldn't hurt anyone because I just don't want to even though I have had thoughts about killing people and I almost actually did it. I yell at God to take me away so im not there anymore My thoughts race bad more than usual and my heartrate feels like its gonna blow and stop at the same time but I did feel something literally blow in me when I was angry or I feel random punches and I sometimes laugh or cackle when i'm mad, I did come from insane ancestors and it does run in the family but I have almost everything the worst even though I can be the most happy but that can quickly change to mad. Sometimes a really bad trigger is being around alot of people, I've tried alot, nothings ever worked. I feel hopeless when i'm angry, that's the only emotion I cant control and I even get mad at my animals and my animals are the best to me! I do have alot of Panic Attacks and Meltdowns when I'm angry and i'm not autistic I dont want to be mean when im angry I dont want people to see me as someone bad when i'm mad. I feel like Earth is Prison. And I feel like i'm an Alien, is this normal?