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I'm a woman and I love having sex with my girlfriend a lot, but I cannot orgasm when she goes down on me. I tell her how I like it and try to communicate with her, but honestly, I'd rather masturbate because it feels so much better. I don't know if it's because she isn't good at it or if I'm just not into it because I know ill get a better orgasm when I masturbate later.
I think early on a lot of people, especially women tend to have stronger orgasms when masturbating then being licked. Have you considered asking your gf to finger you to see how it goes? I know while my gf enjoys the intimacy of me licking her, she always gets much stronger orgasms when I finger her. Another factor too could be that you know your body better then she does, so it is easier for you to please yourself than for her to please you. I would encourage you to communicate with her a bit better as I am sure she wants to please you. The other thing too could be that you are struggling to let go enough to be able to relax and enjoy yourself.