There's nothing at all normal about that guy and what he said and did.
In the UK, the law recognises the concept of "conditional consent", and it's against the law for a guy here to stealthily remove his condom when the other person agreed to have sex only with a condom. Of course, proving what happened in a court is difficult without hard evidence, which means the police might see no point in charging the guy, and prosecutors might decide there's no chance a jury will accept what the woman says.
My understanding is that it's even less likely that police and prosecutors in the USA will decide to proceed in such cases.
What mystifies me is why you apparently believe it's reasonable for you to have sex without birth control. In an ideal world, all men would respect the wishes of women and never do anything that might result in a woman getting pregnant if she doesn't want that. But we don't live in that perfect world. There's no shortage of asshole, misogynistic men who get off on the idea of inflicting an unwanted pregnancy on a woman because that gives them a sense of power or because of even more twisted shit going on in their heads.
Putting all the responsibility for you not getting pregnant on the guys you have sex with and relying entirely on condoms is pretty damn stupid. Condoms sometimes break. Condoms can slip off. Using the wrong sort of lubricant can cause condoms to literally turn to shreds. If you have multiple sessions of PIV, it's possible for the exterior of a new condom to pick up semen when the guy puts it on. Some guys are stupid enough to try to reuse condoms, and that makes it very likely viable sperm could be on the outside.
And it's not all that unusual for a woman who happens to be in the broody phase of her monthly cycle when she happens to be having sex with a guy who pushes all of her happy buttons to suddenly find all sorts of irrational, completely unexpected stuff about babies buzzing around in her head. In that moment, she might feel that she really wants to have unprotected sex, only to realise that was a really, really stupid thing once she comes down from her high.
The guy was a fucked up asshole. It's awful that you experienced what you did with him, and your reluctance to jump back in the cesspit of Tinder is completely understandable. But if you eventually decide to do that, long before you pick up your phone and start swiping, you need to accept that you're the person who's primarily responsible for ensuring that you don't get pregnant and you should make sure you have some sort of effective birth control in place before you have penetrative sex.
Well, he was insistent on having it. I was upfront that I not on birth control so if he don't wear one or I very likely to get pregnant. He claimed he usually pulls out but put one on. Than he slipped it off during and than came inside and said he wanted me pregnant and basically I was than his hostage. Like some protection is better than 0 and well after 5 times I had it I stayed NOT PREGNANT. No, I am not responsible for him disrespecting my wishes when I was upfront about my terms. I straight up explained this. Also I didn't say I wanted kids, he did.
"No, I am not responsible for him disrespecting my wishes when I was upfront about my terms."
As I said in my previous, I think that what he did was completely wrong.
But the way you phrase that statement sounds like you might believe it's reasonable for you to expect everyone in the world to always respect your wishes. That would be silly to the point of delusional.
He is responsible for his actions; you are responsible for your actions. If your actions include refusing to take reasonable precautions to ensure that you won't get pregnant and having sex with guys you don't know well, then you will partly own the consequences of that. You'll definitely be the person who has to decide what to do about any pregnancy. If you decided to have the kid, you'd be the primary person who has to deal with her life being completely turned upside down, and you'd be the one who has to deal with her life revolving around the kid for at least the next eighteen years.
You appear to have lucked out this time - although you need to be aware that the results of pregnancy tests can't be relied on if taken before a few weeks have passed since the sex. From the way you worded your OP, it sounds like you took the test much more quickly than that after the unpleasant evening. If that's correct, then you'd be wise to test again after the date when your next period is due.
I took reasonable precautions. He was the one who decided to not use any protection what so ever against my wishes. If the condom broke or something well that happened. I would proceed from that point. However, purposely coming in a person and saying they are your hostage until they become inpragnated is not MY FUALT. That is him being a dipshit. Also there is no reason to WAIT to take a pregnancy test. Since at that point its already too late and you would have to proceed with having the baby. Also morning after pill is to be taken 1-2 days after. NOT A MONTH LATER YOU IDIOT. So saying wait 3 weeks is too late. Which is said on the medical website I looked up as well. WAITING for these type of things is not intelligent at all.
Where did I say anything about the morning-after pill?
If you can get access to that where you live and using of it isn't in conflict with your ethical beliefs, you obviously should have taken it as soon as you could.
As far as pregnancy testers are concerned, they aren't so sensitive that they can detect the hormone they rely on to indicate pregnancy within a couple of days of conception. Also, sperm can remain viable in the uterus for up to five days after ejaculation, so it's possible for conception to be delayed.
Your definition of "reasonable precautions" clearly isn't the same as mine. It seems to me your attitude is similar to that of someone who decides to walk through the roughest part of town on their own late at night because they believe nobody has the right to assault and rob them, and thinks that the only "reasonable precaution" they need to take is keeping their phone and money out of sight in their pocket. When someone stabs and robs them even though they tell the dipshit they have no right to do that, they're outraged, and believe they bear no responsibility for what happened, even though they deliberately put themselves in a risky situation.
So you are saying that people should be robbed? That is a very predatory mindset. Especially considering some are actually very poor and are often forced into these type of situations or enviorments. So you are basically saying fuck all poor people and familys for not making enough to live in a rich city. Like your privileged ass right?
Have you ever considered if you might be on the autistic spectrum?
It's possible that you just have poor reading comprehension skills, such limited experience of life that you have an unrealistic, idealised vision of human nature, and you always interpret what others say negatively once they say something you find challenging. But the way you've responded to my replies here and how you described the situation that prompted you to ask your original question makes me wonder if you have serious difficulties understanding the thoughts and feelings of others.
IIN to force pregnancy on a girl and is it illegal
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There's nothing at all normal about that guy and what he said and did.
In the UK, the law recognises the concept of "conditional consent", and it's against the law for a guy here to stealthily remove his condom when the other person agreed to have sex only with a condom. Of course, proving what happened in a court is difficult without hard evidence, which means the police might see no point in charging the guy, and prosecutors might decide there's no chance a jury will accept what the woman says.
My understanding is that it's even less likely that police and prosecutors in the USA will decide to proceed in such cases.
What mystifies me is why you apparently believe it's reasonable for you to have sex without birth control. In an ideal world, all men would respect the wishes of women and never do anything that might result in a woman getting pregnant if she doesn't want that. But we don't live in that perfect world. There's no shortage of asshole, misogynistic men who get off on the idea of inflicting an unwanted pregnancy on a woman because that gives them a sense of power or because of even more twisted shit going on in their heads.
Putting all the responsibility for you not getting pregnant on the guys you have sex with and relying entirely on condoms is pretty damn stupid. Condoms sometimes break. Condoms can slip off. Using the wrong sort of lubricant can cause condoms to literally turn to shreds. If you have multiple sessions of PIV, it's possible for the exterior of a new condom to pick up semen when the guy puts it on. Some guys are stupid enough to try to reuse condoms, and that makes it very likely viable sperm could be on the outside.
And it's not all that unusual for a woman who happens to be in the broody phase of her monthly cycle when she happens to be having sex with a guy who pushes all of her happy buttons to suddenly find all sorts of irrational, completely unexpected stuff about babies buzzing around in her head. In that moment, she might feel that she really wants to have unprotected sex, only to realise that was a really, really stupid thing once she comes down from her high.
The guy was a fucked up asshole. It's awful that you experienced what you did with him, and your reluctance to jump back in the cesspit of Tinder is completely understandable. But if you eventually decide to do that, long before you pick up your phone and start swiping, you need to accept that you're the person who's primarily responsible for ensuring that you don't get pregnant and you should make sure you have some sort of effective birth control in place before you have penetrative sex.
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RoseIsabella
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We should have a conditional consent law her in the United States!
Well, he was insistent on having it. I was upfront that I not on birth control so if he don't wear one or I very likely to get pregnant. He claimed he usually pulls out but put one on. Than he slipped it off during and than came inside and said he wanted me pregnant and basically I was than his hostage. Like some protection is better than 0 and well after 5 times I had it I stayed NOT PREGNANT. No, I am not responsible for him disrespecting my wishes when I was upfront about my terms. I straight up explained this. Also I didn't say I wanted kids, he did.
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"No, I am not responsible for him disrespecting my wishes when I was upfront about my terms."
As I said in my previous, I think that what he did was completely wrong.
But the way you phrase that statement sounds like you might believe it's reasonable for you to expect everyone in the world to always respect your wishes. That would be silly to the point of delusional.
He is responsible for his actions; you are responsible for your actions. If your actions include refusing to take reasonable precautions to ensure that you won't get pregnant and having sex with guys you don't know well, then you will partly own the consequences of that. You'll definitely be the person who has to decide what to do about any pregnancy. If you decided to have the kid, you'd be the primary person who has to deal with her life being completely turned upside down, and you'd be the one who has to deal with her life revolving around the kid for at least the next eighteen years.
You appear to have lucked out this time - although you need to be aware that the results of pregnancy tests can't be relied on if taken before a few weeks have passed since the sex. From the way you worded your OP, it sounds like you took the test much more quickly than that after the unpleasant evening. If that's correct, then you'd be wise to test again after the date when your next period is due.
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I took reasonable precautions. He was the one who decided to not use any protection what so ever against my wishes. If the condom broke or something well that happened. I would proceed from that point. However, purposely coming in a person and saying they are your hostage until they become inpragnated is not MY FUALT. That is him being a dipshit. Also there is no reason to WAIT to take a pregnancy test. Since at that point its already too late and you would have to proceed with having the baby. Also morning after pill is to be taken 1-2 days after. NOT A MONTH LATER YOU IDIOT. So saying wait 3 weeks is too late. Which is said on the medical website I looked up as well. WAITING for these type of things is not intelligent at all.
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Boojum
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Where did I say anything about the morning-after pill?
If you can get access to that where you live and using of it isn't in conflict with your ethical beliefs, you obviously should have taken it as soon as you could.
As far as pregnancy testers are concerned, they aren't so sensitive that they can detect the hormone they rely on to indicate pregnancy within a couple of days of conception. Also, sperm can remain viable in the uterus for up to five days after ejaculation, so it's possible for conception to be delayed.
Your definition of "reasonable precautions" clearly isn't the same as mine. It seems to me your attitude is similar to that of someone who decides to walk through the roughest part of town on their own late at night because they believe nobody has the right to assault and rob them, and thinks that the only "reasonable precaution" they need to take is keeping their phone and money out of sight in their pocket. When someone stabs and robs them even though they tell the dipshit they have no right to do that, they're outraged, and believe they bear no responsibility for what happened, even though they deliberately put themselves in a risky situation.
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So you are saying that people should be robbed? That is a very predatory mindset. Especially considering some are actually very poor and are often forced into these type of situations or enviorments. So you are basically saying fuck all poor people and familys for not making enough to live in a rich city. Like your privileged ass right?
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Have you ever considered if you might be on the autistic spectrum?
It's possible that you just have poor reading comprehension skills, such limited experience of life that you have an unrealistic, idealised vision of human nature, and you always interpret what others say negatively once they say something you find challenging. But the way you've responded to my replies here and how you described the situation that prompted you to ask your original question makes me wonder if you have serious difficulties understanding the thoughts and feelings of others.
You need serious help.
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Anonymous Post Author
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From the police?