I spoke to mum about it and she said that I should either tell her I find it stressful being around her or just say I'm busy every time she wants to meet.
The thing is that I dread almost every time I go to see her and it's usually better than I anticipated. Note the word "usually".
EXAMPLES:
*The neighbour below her seems very thuggish, and with a dog that's usually kept indoors. When I went to see her last year, the place REEKED. She'd just talk about how cute the dog was or something like that.
*I have NEVER heard her say she dislikes anything e.g. I will freely say I hate Twilight/romcoms and stuff of that ilk [for example's sake].
She, however, would not say if she disliked these things and would say if she genuinely liked them
*She asked me if I was on a particular medication. I said I wasn't, told her what I took and she said she was on the same thing as me :/ ??
*Being unproactive: Last year, I suggested that she look into mystery shopping for some income as she and my mum are on similar benefits and mum does as much mystery shopping as she's allowed to. However, when I mentioned it to her this year, she said "Yeah, I'd love to!". This shows she hasn't even tried it.
The same with reporting the dog to the RSPCA.
She's a very big believer in not being judgemental, confrontational or harsh in any way.
*shakes head in confusion* Are these common traits in someone with Aspergers'?! Sometimes I feel like I have to look after her although she's older than me and living in her own place (which is more than can be said for me)
The extra info you said here reminds me of a friend I used to have. I always dreaded visiting them and started making excuses not to see them (the excuses were the truth but I was using it to my advantage at the time). By always having an excuse me and that friend just sort of drifted apart. I felt bad for it cause there was nothing wrong with him, I just found his company a bit boring.
The thing is, is that whenever I would get over my dread and go visit him, I'd have a much better time than I thought.
So... Speaking for myself I think I would let them know of small faults in the way they act. I wouldn't be a jerk about it but if she's repeatedly asking me the same questions on repeat or something, I'd let her know. I wouldn't cut off contact but ease out of it. Make myself busier, and have some REAL reason to bump her off if I could. Try to actually be busy so I'm not lying to her.
Truthfully, the way you've described her makes her sound like a very nice lady, but problematic. She doesn't sound like she deserves to be hurt so the best course of action (again, just in my experience) would be to ease slowly out of this.
IIN to find it tough being around a friend who REALLY likes you?
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I spoke to mum about it and she said that I should either tell her I find it stressful being around her or just say I'm busy every time she wants to meet.
The thing is that I dread almost every time I go to see her and it's usually better than I anticipated. Note the word "usually".
EXAMPLES:
*The neighbour below her seems very thuggish, and with a dog that's usually kept indoors. When I went to see her last year, the place REEKED. She'd just talk about how cute the dog was or something like that.
*I have NEVER heard her say she dislikes anything e.g. I will freely say I hate Twilight/romcoms and stuff of that ilk [for example's sake].
She, however, would not say if she disliked these things and would say if she genuinely liked them
*She asked me if I was on a particular medication. I said I wasn't, told her what I took and she said she was on the same thing as me :/ ??
*Being unproactive: Last year, I suggested that she look into mystery shopping for some income as she and my mum are on similar benefits and mum does as much mystery shopping as she's allowed to. However, when I mentioned it to her this year, she said "Yeah, I'd love to!". This shows she hasn't even tried it.
The same with reporting the dog to the RSPCA.
She's a very big believer in not being judgemental, confrontational or harsh in any way.
*shakes head in confusion* Are these common traits in someone with Aspergers'?! Sometimes I feel like I have to look after her although she's older than me and living in her own place (which is more than can be said for me)
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Mmmpfh
11 years ago
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The extra info you said here reminds me of a friend I used to have. I always dreaded visiting them and started making excuses not to see them (the excuses were the truth but I was using it to my advantage at the time). By always having an excuse me and that friend just sort of drifted apart. I felt bad for it cause there was nothing wrong with him, I just found his company a bit boring.
The thing is, is that whenever I would get over my dread and go visit him, I'd have a much better time than I thought.
So... Speaking for myself I think I would let them know of small faults in the way they act. I wouldn't be a jerk about it but if she's repeatedly asking me the same questions on repeat or something, I'd let her know. I wouldn't cut off contact but ease out of it. Make myself busier, and have some REAL reason to bump her off if I could. Try to actually be busy so I'm not lying to her.
Truthfully, the way you've described her makes her sound like a very nice lady, but problematic. She doesn't sound like she deserves to be hurt so the best course of action (again, just in my experience) would be to ease slowly out of this.