What you are going through is normal, unfortunately.
Your marriage is at a difficult point and will likely fail if this keeps up. Something somewhere will give and create a mess, which usually leads to a divorce.
While there can be many reasons, each with a different fix, for this - in about 80% (or more) of cases the issue is that you and your wife do not understand each other in some key ways.
I highly suggest that you read the book "The 5 Love Languages" bu Gary Chapman. Then have your wife read it (or if your wife is willing buy 2 copies and you both read it at the same time - except that it's likely one will read it faster than the other).
You will likely regain the zing in your marriage if you both read and follow the recomendations in the book. If that does not do the trick by itself. You will likley be able to get permission to fill your unfilled needs once your wife really understands that you love her.
A cautionary note on other relationships (or even just using massage parlors): Open marriages with no rules almost always fail. Open marriages with well thought out and agreed upon rules and conditions that are followed often last until death or the marriage ends for other reasons. You also need to consider and agree upon being responsible if there is a pregnancy and a child from other relationships. There are no single set of rules that fits all - every couple must come up with their own rules and conditions that fit them. For more info on the kinds of things to consider and kinds of rules: Read "More than Two" by: Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert. Understanding and discussing the issues and coming up with such rules is rarely quick or easy (although short term "temporary" conditions and rules may quickly be put in place if desired). It took my wife and I about 5 months to learn about and consider the various issues and come to an agreement on conditions, rules, and potential children.
I wish you the best with this. Please do read "The 5 Love Languages."
IIN to find it difficult to fight the urge?
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What you are going through is normal, unfortunately.
Your marriage is at a difficult point and will likely fail if this keeps up. Something somewhere will give and create a mess, which usually leads to a divorce.
While there can be many reasons, each with a different fix, for this - in about 80% (or more) of cases the issue is that you and your wife do not understand each other in some key ways.
I highly suggest that you read the book "The 5 Love Languages" bu Gary Chapman. Then have your wife read it (or if your wife is willing buy 2 copies and you both read it at the same time - except that it's likely one will read it faster than the other).
You will likely regain the zing in your marriage if you both read and follow the recomendations in the book. If that does not do the trick by itself. You will likley be able to get permission to fill your unfilled needs once your wife really understands that you love her.
A cautionary note on other relationships (or even just using massage parlors): Open marriages with no rules almost always fail. Open marriages with well thought out and agreed upon rules and conditions that are followed often last until death or the marriage ends for other reasons. You also need to consider and agree upon being responsible if there is a pregnancy and a child from other relationships. There are no single set of rules that fits all - every couple must come up with their own rules and conditions that fit them. For more info on the kinds of things to consider and kinds of rules: Read "More than Two" by: Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert. Understanding and discussing the issues and coming up with such rules is rarely quick or easy (although short term "temporary" conditions and rules may quickly be put in place if desired). It took my wife and I about 5 months to learn about and consider the various issues and come to an agreement on conditions, rules, and potential children.
I wish you the best with this. Please do read "The 5 Love Languages."