Yes, these feelings are completely normal. There's 4 major parts to sexuality:
Sex, Gender, Expression, and OBI.
Sex = Your biology. (Male, Female, Intersex, Other)
Gender = Your mind. (Man, Woman, Genderqueer, No label, etc)
Expression = Your appearance. (Masculine, Feminine, Androgynous, Genderqueer, etc)
OBI = Orientation, Behavior, Identity
Orientation = Your attractions in your mind - whether they be for other humans, objects, or fantasies
Behavior = The physical behavior you choose.
Identity = What are comfortable calling yourself? (Straight, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer, Questioning, Asexual, Polysexual, Pansexual, etc etc etc - there's hundreds of labels.)
Using myself as an example, I am male, and I could be having sex with a women. That is my behavior. But what if in my head, while having sex, I'm thinking of a man? That's the difference between Orientation and Behavior. And there is no formula for what makes a person gay or straight, it's whatever *I* define myself as. It doesn't matter if my identity matches the definition of what someone else feels is a different definition when it comes to *my* sexuality. For example, even though I'm male, if I want to identify as a lesbian, what wrong with that? If that's what I'm comfortable calling myself, why should anyone else's opinion matter? You can define sexuality. It's just not possible. It's like trying to define "freedom" or "love". It's a person-by-person experience, not something you can universally define.
With your attractions, they can be broken down into even more categories.
-Sexual
-Emotional
-Affectional
-Relational
-Romantic
When you believe that a girl is super hot, that doesn't immediately mean it's a sexual attraction. Society has made us believe that any feeling we have regarding beauty to men or women is sexual. I have many attractions to my girl friends- that doesn't mean they are all sexual. People who usually can't "appreciate" the beauty in people of the same sex are insecure with their own gender roles. They get scared they are not masculine if male, or feminine if female. But ask yourself, who created these gender roles? The bible? Some might say that. But where does it say, "Thou shalt not wear pink if born a man"? The reality is humans- mainly MEN- created the gender norms.
Bottom line, don't spend too much time trying to give yourself a label, and ask if it's normal to feel attractions towards other humans. Of course we do! We're all homo-sapien sapiens, and there's over 7 billion of us on earth. You just let your freak-flag fly sweetheart. And disregard what any haters have to say about your identity.
More people need to understand this. People want to believe sexuality is as simple as one group of people who are men and have all the masculine traits and one group of people who are women and have all the feminine traits, but it isn't. It just isn't.
Is it normal to find a girl super hot?
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I'm a human sexuality teacher.
Yes, these feelings are completely normal. There's 4 major parts to sexuality:
Sex, Gender, Expression, and OBI.
Sex = Your biology. (Male, Female, Intersex, Other)
Gender = Your mind. (Man, Woman, Genderqueer, No label, etc)
Expression = Your appearance. (Masculine, Feminine, Androgynous, Genderqueer, etc)
OBI = Orientation, Behavior, Identity
Orientation = Your attractions in your mind - whether they be for other humans, objects, or fantasies
Behavior = The physical behavior you choose.
Identity = What are comfortable calling yourself? (Straight, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer, Questioning, Asexual, Polysexual, Pansexual, etc etc etc - there's hundreds of labels.)
Using myself as an example, I am male, and I could be having sex with a women. That is my behavior. But what if in my head, while having sex, I'm thinking of a man? That's the difference between Orientation and Behavior. And there is no formula for what makes a person gay or straight, it's whatever *I* define myself as. It doesn't matter if my identity matches the definition of what someone else feels is a different definition when it comes to *my* sexuality. For example, even though I'm male, if I want to identify as a lesbian, what wrong with that? If that's what I'm comfortable calling myself, why should anyone else's opinion matter? You can define sexuality. It's just not possible. It's like trying to define "freedom" or "love". It's a person-by-person experience, not something you can universally define.
With your attractions, they can be broken down into even more categories.
-Sexual
-Emotional
-Affectional
-Relational
-Romantic
When you believe that a girl is super hot, that doesn't immediately mean it's a sexual attraction. Society has made us believe that any feeling we have regarding beauty to men or women is sexual. I have many attractions to my girl friends- that doesn't mean they are all sexual. People who usually can't "appreciate" the beauty in people of the same sex are insecure with their own gender roles. They get scared they are not masculine if male, or feminine if female. But ask yourself, who created these gender roles? The bible? Some might say that. But where does it say, "Thou shalt not wear pink if born a man"? The reality is humans- mainly MEN- created the gender norms.
Bottom line, don't spend too much time trying to give yourself a label, and ask if it's normal to feel attractions towards other humans. Of course we do! We're all homo-sapien sapiens, and there's over 7 billion of us on earth. You just let your freak-flag fly sweetheart. And disregard what any haters have to say about your identity.
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dom180
10 years ago
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So so so much truth here.
More people need to understand this. People want to believe sexuality is as simple as one group of people who are men and have all the masculine traits and one group of people who are women and have all the feminine traits, but it isn't. It just isn't.
EDIT: Keep doing your awesome job.
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A-Hor
10 years ago
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Thank you. And yes, I love my job.