Is it normal to feel trapped in friendship limbo?

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I've known this girl for over a year, and we've been good friends since day one and getting to be better friends along the way. She had a boyfriend up until a few months ago and now we seem to be hanging out a lot. I always had thought it'd be nice if she didn't have a bf because she is just so cool and very cute, and it'd be good and nice to be with her. I've had to put off my feelings for her, at first, since I value her as a friend so much and I could tell she needed and enjoyed being able to hang out. She doesn't mention her ex much but enough so I know shes still dealing with some of that heartache.
I've really liked hanging out with her alot recently and my feelings creep back in sometimes. I get weird signals from her like sometimes when its just us hanging out she calls the neighbour over to join or when I mention meeting with her later theres a weirdness until i mention a friends tagging with. It's like shes trying to tell me that she sometimes feels awkward just us hanging out alone, like maybe she knows i have could have some feelings for her but doesnt want to deal with it being public? but i also get other signs that she indeed fancies me with slight flirting happening.
i know i could fix this with outright conversation and our friendship is strong to survive me pulling a swing-n-miss on her. but i feel theres a great potential if we could be partners so im wondering when the right time to do this is.

she brightens my day when i need it and i brighten hers when she does. ive got no problem being good friends. and its weird because i think of the mixed feelings i have... one day i will be attracted to her and the next not at all-just enjoying the friendship. is that weird?
i feel like i want to solve the dilemma one day, hopefully soon, by just looking into her eyes, telling her i have to do this, and kissing her. i will definitely know where i stand then.

any insights? preferably a good time to deal with this?

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  • PiAnt
    13 years ago | pl

    I think most people have been in situations very similar to this one at some time. And, they can only tell you what they did, not what you should do. You have to decide for yourself.

    However, it might be worth thinking about this.

    While you're waiting and wondering, another guy comes along and asks her out and she accepts...

    Then you'll be kicking yourself guaranteed.

    IMHO, you need to take the bull by the horns and let her know how you feel. The important thing, though, is how you approach it.

    If I were you, I would expalin to her exactly this, that, even if you were never more than just the best of friends and how much happiness that brings to you, you could never forgive youself if you didn't tell her how much she means to you.

    Opportunities, mate, are exactly that.

    Unless they're missed ones.

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  • turboacct
    13 years ago | pl

    I would tell her that you have a crush on her immediately and listen to her response. If she is truly your friend she will tell you how she feels honestly about you. My friend was highly emotionally attracted to me but physically she had no interest. My friend enjoyed our talks but did not want to do physical activities with me. You could also ask her to be more involved physically and if she sounds discouraging then you will see it is an emotional friendship only. I'm sure she is special to you but are you physically special to her?

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