Is it normal to feel this way about people when you have social anxiety?

100% Normal
3 Comments

So I know for a fact I have social anxiety. I am planning to get some serious help because as anyone w social anxiety knows, it can get in the way of a lot of things especially your job and overall life and its just unhealthy. So with me, Ive realized what exactly is the problem and this is how I see it for me: I'm fine with things, I have goals, I know what I want to do, I'm smart, etc but its people that kill everything hence SOCIAL anxiety. Like I can try a new hobby and yes I love it but then PEOPLE get involved and its almost like they're a buzzkill or like they took my passion away for that particular hobby. I don't want to give people that much power but it is what it is, thats how I feel when I enter a room full of people. Whatever has to do with people, I dont want to do but unfortunately, having a social life is healthy and tbh I do want to be social and have healthy friendships but I have more trouble blending in and feeling normal around others than most people do, as others w social anxiety feel too. As soon as people are involved, the whole thing is ruined. This doesn't just have to do with my social anxiety but just how I haven't had good relationships in the past, either people screw me over or I just personally don't like them. I just hate how people or society works, they are so sensitive and petty and it blows my mind how they can be like that. I thought I was bad but when I immerse myself to a group of people like at work or whatever, they get along by the dumbest things and I just can't conform to it. The pattern is usually like this: I like something, people come in, I'm anxious but I want to befriend them, I get to know them, I get so turned off by their ways OR my anxiety ruins my potential relationship with the people. I get anxious especially now because from the past, I've been an outcast so I'm already foreshadowing whats gonna happen which I know isn't right so Im trying to not jump to conclusions but the anxiety is too strong. And then sometimes its just I don't like them and realize this isn't worth the anxiety. Is this all normal?

Voting Results
100% Normal
Based on 4 votes
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 3 )
  • Gutterpuppy
    6 years ago

    Yeah, I'm right there with you, pretty much word for word. I wish there was a way to approach a social situation in a better way. Have you already spoken to a counselor? There are a lot of crappy ones out there, but there are diamonds in the rough that can give you some really good advice. Look for counselors that specialize in social anxiety or even agoraphobia.

    Do you have any friends who know your mental state well? I used to have a lot of close friends but lost them over the years... anyway, if so, maybe convincing them to try and actively include you in conversations when you're in larger groups and need to socialize. That way, you'll at least have a constant (your friend) there that you're reasonably comfortable talking to.

    ...and this isn't the end-all be-all. You could totally fail and it will be fine as long as you keep picking yourself back up. I'll be rooting for you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Thanks for this. I've been wanting to talk to a counselor or therapist but that is what I'm afraid of...picking the wrong one. I've never talked to one so I don't know how to go about it and find the right one. But I really do wanna talk to one to better myself in this situation.
      I don't think nobody knows about my mental state, or at least knows how serious it is. I know my family and maybe some friends think I'm awkward but that's it. They don't know how much I struggle. While I look for someone to talk to, I've just been reading books and listening to podcasts on how to be more confident and just get out there and do it but unfortunately, it's not that simple in society. So far, I am still making an effort in getting along with others and giving them a chance, not letting my anxiety get in the way. Nothing has really improved so I'm just getting by. I really want help before it's too late.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • e51pegasi
    6 years ago

    Yes.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0