Is it normal to feel this way about a girl and have hope?

I would be the only guy invited at times amd sometimes well a lot of times iwould be left out or felt left out because well I couldn't relate to what they would be talking about or didn't catch my attention you know? All I could really do was to get hammered which wasn't good. But i didn't care as long as I was with her I was happy. Eventually we would argue a lot at these gatherings and caused lots of problems in our relationship she would bring up old incidents/problems when she was drunk that we had initially worked on and gotten over with up again and it was just bad for both of us to relive these incidents.
Well finally jus recently we reached our final arguement or she did and decided to call it quits. She just had a breakdown brought out all the negatives about me and well gave up all hope on me and left me.i never thought we would breakup, weve been through hell and back many times and everyone who knew us said wed be one of those couples that be together forever. I knew that was infact what i wanted I jus never said anything cus I didn't wanna be or sound all cheesy about it. Upon that last conversation she made me realize that I haven't really been doin much with my life or thinking of my future just being what she called a "looser boyfriend". Which is true I was jus focusing on being with her amd nothing else that I kinda just stayed on a pause in my life for about a year where I had nothing going for me and was going no where. All that mattered to me was jus to be by her side. i became addicted to her in everyway ,I became blinded by love in a sense.