Is it normal to feel this way!!?

I am a mom of two, one four an the other 7mths both boys!! I hate, hate, hate the 0-1year stage an how they need to constantly be held an etc... But I didn't realize this until I had my second child. My first was hard but I thought that I was just in a bad stage of my life and everything would be different. I am married and happily at that so no complaints there except the normal things that a married couple might argue about. He helps tremendously with the kids, he loves kids, he even wants like 10 more (Not happening), but he is great! Except right now he is away at school, and he only gets to come home every 3 months for 1 week. I am tired, Im annoyed and I am starting to hate him for leaving me here to take on two kids by myself. I don't have issues with my 4 year old, but the baby is my main issue. I never want to be around him, I never want to get out of bed because I know that he is going to want to be held, he is fussy because he is teething and I just want to throw something or punch a wall, the thoughts of harming the baby has even played out in my mind, but I always tear up and hate myself for even thinking such a thing. Everyday I get out of bed and I put a smile on my face and go take care of everything. I cry sometimes and I hate to say they see that, but other then that I am doing what I have to, to make this work! I just don't understand why I have these feelings to want to cause harm to the baby, or to want to have someone take him for me. (By the way I moved to MI with my husbands family so that I wouldn't be so alone, yet I never talk to anyone, no one ever stops by and No one ever takes them or offers). I feel more alone here then anywhere I have been! I get so angry that when my husband calls I literally cuss him out or find something to argue about, just so I can tell him that he has it easy and I don't. I want a job so bad, I hate sitting at home, but of course NO ONE here is hiring and when they hear me talk and I have an accent from NC they kinda laugh and some have even told me it will be years before I am excepted here :o( I was shocked... and I had no Idea what to do from there. So I have been sitting here day in and out, doing applications again and again waiting.

In the end I am frustrated, hateful and turning into this crazy maniac women that has this overwhelming feeling to beat my baby or myself!! HELP!!!!!