Is it normal to feel this frustrated?

48% Normal
5 Comments

I'm a 19 year old girl, who's feeling excessively frustrated about many different things. What could a 19 year old have dealt with by this stage in her life?

some back story:
My first sexual experience was on australia day when i was 14. I was raped by a man 9 years older than me. i was also raped by another man at another location the following year- i went a bit silly after that i didnt tell my family what was going on for reasons i cant explain, but i started a spiral of self abuse. I don't just mean cutting up my wrists, i was using drugs, drinking, having various sexual encounters, and i really didn't care because i was just hoping i wouldn't wake up. My home life was very rocky, alot of anger, and abuse in the household - although my mother loves me dearly, i disagree with alot of her parenting, but she did alright given the circumstances.

I moved out of home for a while which just lead to alot more drug use, and i was starting to fail my final year of highschool. i decided that i didnt want to fail.. and that if i did fail it was my fault so i tried to clean my act up.

So now I'm 19, i'm addicted to Marijuana, i need to smoke every day to function and not get the sweats. I have a lovely boyfriend of nearly 2 years, although I'm always terrified he'll leave me... I'm sexually frustrated - I cant orgasm, I cant make myself orgasm - sex feels good.. but doesn't make me orgasm. and i wonder if this is because of my past. . Most of the time i don't feel like theres enough in the world to live for, particularly the last 6 months I've been feeling really down. I feel sad most of the time, i cry often - up to several times a day.

so overall - i have sexual frustration, i find it hard to go out... i feel as though i have developed some trust issues, i'm terrified of being alone (not just relationship wise i don't like being alone i feel too vulnerable)so is this normal - or what are some suggestions on dealing with my frustration? thanks

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 5 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    It's going to be hard but you have to stop using the drugs and see a counsellor because by asking this here, you've already made a step forward.

    It seems you want to change this routine but the first thing you have to do is come to terms with what happened to you and let it go. That doesn't mean forget or forgive, it would be impossible to do that but more to find peace with yourself and the trauma you went through.

    I think you really need to talk things through with somebody and let everything out. Even if you end up screaming and crying, it's better than masking over the memories with marijuana.

    I honestly wish you luck and hope you find some peace.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    Stop reading at when you were raped twice by two diffrent guys

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  • dappled
    12 years ago | pl

    I'm really sorry you've had to go through this. It sounds like you are using drugs as a way to escape a crushing reality. If you are ready for reality, then counselling may be your first port of call. It doesn't sound like it'll be an easy journey but I wish you all the luck in the world.

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  • nanimeow
    12 years ago | pl

    I would see a counselor honestly. Self medicating yourself with pot is not an answer. Pot just like alcohol should be used for recreactional use and in moderation.

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  • wreckerone
    12 years ago | pl

    This is a normal feeling you have because of the issues that have accured throughout your life soo i would understand y u feel the way you do towards certain situations but in order for you to fully be able to be pleasured in that way you have to be confotable in your own skin and love youself and accept that things did happen but u wont let them win by having it affect u now preventing u from being truly happy they stole one thing dont let them steal another (happiness) ...

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