Is it normal to feel resentment over sexual frustrations

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6 Comments

Long story short, my married friend and I have known each other for 5 years and and have had a rather flirtatious relationship in those years. I have always found him attractive and have found that my lustful desires intensified over the last couple of years but would never do anything due to the fact of his marriage. I'm 95% sure he feels the same way as well due to the way he acts back. Lately he's been really argumentative with me and I feel as though maybe he is resentful of the fact that he has these feelings but doesn't want to act upon them. I still catch his wandering gaze most of the time but he seems more aggressively nasty toward me. Is this normal behaviour when lust is not acted upon?

Is It Normal?
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  • joybird
    11 years ago | pl

    Can't imagine if he fancies you that he'd be nasty. There are probably arguments at home and maybe your name has come up, if his wife is jealous, so he's going to put her first. He seems to be trying to push you away - maybe to save his marriage.

    I have many male friends who fancy me but they're never nasty to me. They can be in bad moods if home-life is in trouble. Don't forget that's still his priority.

    You need to ask him what's going on. Back away and let him deal with it.

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  • nohiddenpath
    11 years ago | pl

    I don't recommend wrecking someones marriage for your own selfish desires, unless you want the same thing to happen to you. Marriage is sacred and imposing on that special bond someone has with thier partner is not cool.

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  • dwe
    11 years ago | pl

    Just tell his wife you and he already had an affair, then he'll be freed up to date you. LOL just kidding. He is giving you a sign to back off. Give him space for a few weeks without seeing him and maybe you and he will have a better relationship after that. Maybe you will mentally move on in that time and the issue will be in the past? After all he is TAKEN. Plenty more attractive men out there.

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  • JuliusE
    11 years ago | pl

    Don't be the temptress. That's a nasty role. He's almost certainly trying to push you away because he fears jeopardizing his marriage. Would you really want to be THAT woman? We all have feelings and sometimes we can't help but have natural attractions to people, but at some point we need to decide whether we're slaves to our desires our mature adults who make the right and righteous decisions which are (almost) always for the best. Don't give in to instant gratification, which always causes long term unhappiness, and don't try to tempt others to do it either, for they will always resent you and themselves in the end.

    Be respectful of the responsible choice he is trying to make. You can even have a frank discussion with him explaining that you will respect his wishes and marriage IF (and only IF) you are feeling strongly in control of your emotions and think he would respond in the appropriate manner. If you think putting that out in the open might cause him to act on some of these desires don't even go there.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago | pl

    either ruin his marriage and get it on or go for someone better! married men are no good it wont end pleasently. and yeah its normal.

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  • Jonny69
    11 years ago | pl

    Yea its normal.. Either u can respect his marriage or jus next time u see him just get down to businesd...

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