My parents are both physically, verbally and emotionally abusive. They're not really a part of my life any more; which isn't the outcome I wanted but - believe me - I've tried everything. I was hoping this final step of putting more distance between us would help bring some perspective.
From about the age of thirteen onwards, I found that I could only express my real personality when they weren't present. Everyone commented. People who only know me in their presence (family friends, etc.) were astonished if they saw me outside that environment.
My mother said she remembers me as a person who was always making a joke, always amusing the family, always with something to say. She thinks that person doesn't exist any more and that my face has been expressionless for years, that I speak only if spoken to. But I'm still the person I was; just not around them.
I understand what it's like to go into "shutdown mode" to protect yourself around abusive people. But it doesn't mean the real you isn't hiding inside. For me, taking every opportunity to be social (at places my parents weren't at) helped me work my way back to be the kind of person I should always have been allowed to develop into.
Is it normal to feel like you're dating your parents?
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My parents are both physically, verbally and emotionally abusive. They're not really a part of my life any more; which isn't the outcome I wanted but - believe me - I've tried everything. I was hoping this final step of putting more distance between us would help bring some perspective.
From about the age of thirteen onwards, I found that I could only express my real personality when they weren't present. Everyone commented. People who only know me in their presence (family friends, etc.) were astonished if they saw me outside that environment.
My mother said she remembers me as a person who was always making a joke, always amusing the family, always with something to say. She thinks that person doesn't exist any more and that my face has been expressionless for years, that I speak only if spoken to. But I'm still the person I was; just not around them.
I understand what it's like to go into "shutdown mode" to protect yourself around abusive people. But it doesn't mean the real you isn't hiding inside. For me, taking every opportunity to be social (at places my parents weren't at) helped me work my way back to be the kind of person I should always have been allowed to develop into.
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[Old Memory]
11 years ago
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thanks for that