Is it normal to feel like i'm abandoning my little sister?

84% Normal
9 Comments

My little sister and I have a 10 year age difference. I'm 18, and she's 8. I just recently graduated High School, and I've mostly been living at my boyfriend's house, but I do go home for 1 or 2 days so I can see my sister.

When I was a little kid, my mom was always working and my dad was always asleep, or... passed out, because he had a massive hangover. So many times in my childhood, I was basically home alone. My dad has stopped drinking but he still portrays the same 'sleepy, passing out' behavior, and will go to sleep for long periods of time, leaving my 8 year old sister alone in the house.

My dream has always been to travel the world. But I don't feel like I can because I don't want to abandon my sister. I'm not home about 5 out of 7 days a week, and my sister often cries about how much she misses me to my mom. My mom always tells me how much my sister misses me, and it just makes me feel so guilty! I feel like, if she can't even deal with the fact that I'm gone for about 5 days, how is she gonna deal with me being gone for months?

I love my sister and I would do anything for her, but I also want to follow my dream of traveling the world.
I just don't want to take my emotional-sisterly-baggage on the trip.

Voting Results
84% Normal
Based on 32 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Echoes
    13 years ago

    you're a great person. It won't hurt you if you postpone your dreams for a few years till your sister is old enough to not miss you that much, plus you're still young too.

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  • skimskambone
    13 years ago

    At 18, you're too young to be shacked up. You're doing that bc you want to escape your shitty environment & your parents who depressed you. Meanwhile, your sister is left where you one were, trapped & depressed. That's why you feel guilty. What you need to do will take much thought, getting help, & re-evaluating yourself & your own life choices, as well as finding a way to be strong enough to do it. Your choice is clear, but not easy: DO THE RIGHT THING.

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  • cooldavid
    13 years ago

    Leave the emotional baggage, take your sis!

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    My grandma is 68! And she just got back from Poland a Romania !!! She has also been to 16 other countries since she was about 40! So you still have time!

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Your sister is only 8 she needs a real role model right now you have your whole life ahead of you to persue your dream you should be with your sister and when she is old enough to understand then go :)

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  • yayasaga
    13 years ago

    No you're young and deserve to follow your own dreams as well. Everyone deserve to be happy. She's to young to go with you to travel around the world. And if you're not planning on being gone forever then I wouldn't worry about it. She is not your responsibility however I do understand you love her very much and are concerned. Trust me she will be fine and adjust. Just keep in contact often with her. When she is older she will understand and if she loves you like you love her, she will look back one day and realize you deserved to be happy and follow some of your dreams as well. So go. And leave the guilt at your door when you leave otherwise it's not worth going. Hope you go and enjoy your young life :) best wishes

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  • monkyyy
    13 years ago

    save money till u can go everywhere w/o debt; then go because ur sister should be old enough then

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  • alv1592
    13 years ago

    you still have your whole life ahead. i'm the same age as you, and one of my dreams is to travel the world too. spend plenty of time w/ your sis before you go traveling. or maybe even take her w/ you :)

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  • mrs_darcy82
    13 years ago

    I think it's normal to feel like you're 'abandoning' her, but unnecessary. You're at an amazing age where you have the freedom to travel or do whatever you want: so go and do it!! As yayasaga says, keep in contact, but make the most of your opportunities while you can. She will be fine and she will understand :) Good luck

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