Is it normal to feel like coming to america was mistake

I moved to United States of America one year ago and have not made any connections. I am from Russian Federation. I am 23. I feel like I have made wrong decision trying to come here.

My confidence has plummeted since moving. I hate my accent. I still can not get all of English grammar perfect, and people can tell. At this point I just avoid all conversation. I have never felt more lonely in all of my life.

I compete in math tournament and design research proposal, both I win scholarship for to American University for focus in Geology.

I got into fistfight with classmate who thought I make racist comment and was criticize for “taking the fight too far”, and later was jumped by group. So now majority of class is thinking I am racist and aggressive and have even made the post of Twitter to try to get me remove from school.

I really thought I was making good decision, now I know I have made very expensive mistake, and will be condemned by my countrymen when I return home a failure and traitor.

Voting Results
82% Normal
Based on 22 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • TheOneTrueStranger

    Nothing worse than meeting an SJW. You have my sympathies my friend.

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  • Goomats

    American colleges seem like anti-social places these days. I went to college(I live in the U.S.) ten years ago and it was easy to talk to people. Now, when I've had to go to a college building for any reason, it's silent as the grave and full of phone zombies. Also, the U.S. has gotten into a political correctness frenzy, to the point beyond expecting people to be polite to going to a passive-agressive lose-lose game. Hopefully, the policially correct phone zombie phase will die out. Meanwhile, put yourself out there and you will make friends. Also, what part of the U.S. are you in?

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    • geek_god_101

      It's okay. Remember that education is mostly governed by libtards so being a conservative at any school feels like the equivalent of a refugee in a foreign country.

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    • I am in Maryland.

      I am not good with social media so I think that is part of how I am fall behind with a lot of social interactions.

      I do not hate political correctness culture of Americans) I try my best to fit with it but I feel like every conversation is on eggshells.

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  • ellenPawface

    Leave that toxic university environment. Americans generally think highly of Russians.

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  • Pussy_Destroyer_69

    In Russia you fight bear. In America you fight sjw. Such is life in the USA.

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    • I miss bear(

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  • bubsy

    Bunch of brainwashed liberals showing how "tolerant" they are to their newest foe: Russia. Don't roll over for them. Do what you have to in order to get through college.

    The real America (aka life outside a college campus) will treat you far better.

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  • I can relate to that. I moved to the UK from Eastern Europe, and I also had great results in Maths, including olympiads, so I thought the western world can offer me more opportunities.

    I feel lonely here, too, but this is because I decided to. I am tired of snowflakes yelling at me and calling me racist and all that liberal shit they do. So I decided that I do not want any friends and I do not talk to them anymore. I don't talk to my flatmates or to people at school. I also don't talk to people of my own nationality, since I don't like their company either. I just have a chinese friend and I spend some time with him.

    Since I am at university, I decided I want to dedicate all my time to studying, so I do this all day, with no socialising and partying or whatever, since this is not actually fun, when surrounded by a bunch of liberal degenerates who are oppressed at any corner. I don't miss my own country since I was lonely there, too, living alone for years, without having a family or someome close to spend time with. So I did the same thing, I just studied and studied all the time and I got great results.

    Whenever I feel lonely, I just find an occupation that will allow me to make the most out of my experience, and studying is the best thing to do at this stage. I cannot tell whether this will help you, but it certainly helped me, and we are quite similar.

    Also, I had trouble with English, but now I solved this problem (mostly) focusing on grammar and vocabulary. I used forums like this to talk and use my language, instead of talking to people at school/uni, which was incredibly boring given their common topics about being offended by everything. I mean, I really thought it's just a joke and people exaggerate it to make it look silly and funny, but it's true. People really are that brainwashed.

    I strongly advice you to avoid contact with people you dislike. Feeling lonely is normal, but trying to solve this by spending time with people you really don't enjoy is not, and it's a bad idea. It won't solve the problem, it will make it worse. Don't trust people saying: "Go out, socialize, make friends, bla bla". That is the most general advice that shows no actual interest in solving your problem. Only you can tell what you should do.

    You can get yourself a nickname and spend time on a website with a virtual community, preferrably remaining anonymous and spending time with them, having common interests. Another thing you might do is to find people like you in there, but definitely avoid people you don't like, and most certainly avoid having conflicts with them, because you can even get deported from stupid arguments. When you disagree with them, just stop it, say "ok" and get out of there. It's time for you to leave, this proof is enough to understand that they are wasting your time. It is very important for you to learn from this mistake, and the lesson is that people like that are to be avoided. Even if they try to convince you to communicate again, just reject politely and stay away from this kind of conflicts.

    I suggest spending your spare time with different interesting activities: read books, do sports, take online courses, stay on AoPS since you're into Maths (hope to see you there), etc.

    Do NOT let a group of people influence you and your future or affect you and your life decisions. People who want to interfere with you or to criticize you are everywhere, regardless of the country or the language or opinions or anything else. Be wise and avoid them completely.

    You shouldn't hate your accent. When your confidence decreases, it means you are in the wrong group of people. For example I personally enjoy spending time with foreigners, since we have more things in common, and a strong accent makes me identify them easily and somehow I am prone to communicate with them. There are people who would enjoy spending time with you, but you don't know it. When you are not confident in yourself, the first thing to do is to question the group of people you spend time with, or you try to integrate into. They have a strong impact on you. The wrong group, such as an American group, can always make you feel bad for being so different, while a group of Russians might make you feel a lot better about yourself, since you have a sense of belonging.

    By the way, Twitter is now the new weapon of fancy boys. They don't throw punches anymore, they make Twitter posts. It's their safe space. If they get attacked, they can defend themselves with the power of Twitter likes and comments. Just fucking let them stay in their own world. Also, I would totally enjoy having a drink with a Russian guy here, so you should look somewhere else to find appreciation and joy. Your mistake is not moving to America, your mistake is wasting time with some particular Americans that many people dislike, such as SJWs (whatever that means, I just heard this abbreviation on the internet).

    Peace out.

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  • DoctorPunk

    There are Russian neighborhoods in New York City. Perhaps you can find other Russian immigrants to America in your area. Then you can go out to drink Vodka with one of you being a designated driver.

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    • There are? I will give look into that) I tried to avoid New York because I remember friends back in Russia telling me it is not white-friendly

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      • CozmoWank

        Google- Little Odessa in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn.

        Little Odessa has the largest population of Russian immigrants in the Western Hemisphere. New York City has approximately 600,000 Russian Americans. Most of them live in either Brighton Beach or Sheepshead Bay.

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      • Checkmate_King

        Brighton Beach

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  • redrainbow22

    America has SJWs friend

    Gotta be tough against them

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    • itachi_uchiha

      Yeah & they are racist too

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      • redrainbow22

        Some really are

        Think white people are bad because they are white, and because they still have little emotional feelings that they cant get over from 100 years ago

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        • itachi_uchiha

          Well I wouldn't say all whites are bad some are but there are bad people in every race

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          • redrainbow22

            Exactly

            And since theres bad people in every race, we shouldnt even be looking at race in the first place

            But the media plays off some black peoples insecurities, to try to get shit going

            And start trouble. They are the devil

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  • Randomly-Strawberry

    Ahh, SJWs...

    I know someone who finds the word "Hero" extremely offensive. She thinks that this word is sexist (??) because it starts with "he". And she tries to change the word into "shero". But...it's just a word.

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  • Snazzytazzy

    First of all, I think Russians are awesome. Screw whoever made a racist comment towards you. Not to mention the fact that you are getting a degree in scoence which is amazing.
    Learning a second language is hard. Although your grammar isn’t perfect you are able to articulate sentences that other people can understand. I’m still trying to learn Russian and the only words I can remember are Привет and Спасибо.
    People here are racist because of fear or jealousy. They may not know much about you or your country (or they could be jealous that you’ve accomplished so much in life)
    They will try to use the fist fight against you. If you get called to the head admins Office or something to discuss it, look them in the eye with confidence. Calmly explain what happened and take responsibility. Tell them that you apologize for your actions and that it will not happen again.
    If it happens again, just be the bigger person and ignore their immaturity. It isn’t highschool and they shouldn’t be acting like that. Calmly tell them that they are being immature and that America is made up of immigrants (don’t raise your voice though. It will make your heart rate escalate as well as theirs and eventually it may turn into a fist fight)
    Good luck! I hope things go well for you!

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  • Fetiza000

    The only regret i made abouy going on vacation to Toronto was that the cold temperatures reminded me of my own country, was expecting something at least a bit hotter. And the street where the house was where we slept in looked very dystopian.

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  • rayb12

    So sorry man. It is such an expensive country. I don't live there and I am from America.
    But you can make it work. With the right attitude, there are always opportunities so maybe tomorrow you go to an event or activity and meet some nice people. But you must make the first step.

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