Is it normal to feel absolutely empty inside even though life is good?

87% Normal
10 Comments

I'm really confused about this..My life right now is pretty good. I have a large group of friends with whom I go out with almost everyday. My college grades are good. I'm interning at a great company.
I have very supportive parents and I've always been the kid that gets whatever he wants. But, throughout my school life and most recently even at college, at the end of the day, I feel so hollow, so empty. Why the hell am I feeling like this ? I feel like a complete asshole, that deserves to be hated, like I've done something wrong...

There are a few things that kind of suck for me, like my complete and utter inability to make friends with girls. I'm not even talking about a girlfriend here, I'm saying that I'm unable to make a girl even care about me enough to even be a friend.

I can never tell whether I'm a good looking guy, because my looks change every bloody day. Though I'm slightly overweight, I have decent height, and the first thing people notice about me are my shoulders. I am very broad, not out of shape or fat or anything, but just basically built like a tank.. Sometimes I feel my bigness scares people away, especially girls..I even have a serious face, even though I feel I smile A LOT. People call me the Happy Mafia Boss. I am not loud and obnoxious. I know some people who are. They compensate for what they lack through an increased presence during social interactions.

I don't really know why, but I actually don't like half the girls I meet. I find most of them boring and too girly. I think the disinterest shows on my face or something and that puts them off..It's not like I hate girls or anything, I really like PEOPLE..I'm one of those guys who absolutely and truly believes in the concept of friendship..and love..I like getting to know a person and getting the person to know me. The real me. All my friends are really simple and such things don't really cross their minds much.

I'm the only one I know who feels like this so in my group I always have to subdue who I really am.

My friends know nothing about me at the end of the day. My parents won't understand it. I even feel I've not effectively explained what I'm going through right now..Hopefully this might make sense to somebody..Or maybe I'm just a self righteous prick who needs to buck up and be grateful for what he has...I'm ashamed of feeling this way..

I have never asked a girl out because of this. I have pushed away girls who may have been interested in me. I think I'm a coward who's afraid of looking bad in front of people. Maybe its a self esteem issue. I think all the confidence that people think I have is all just a big show. A disguise, a friggin mask. I'm so afraid that the real me will just push people away.

At the end of the day, I'm alone.

Man, that was LONG and I probably sound like a whiney bitch, but writing all this down has made me feel a lot better.. :)

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • theRealDeal
    13 years ago | pl

    The emptiness came only be filled with Him, a true relationship. Can't be found anywhere but in your heart. Good luck, I hope you find Him!

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  • some_entity
    10 years ago | pl

    I'm very similar to you, though I was in a much worse state I think. Been trying to understand why.

    In your mind you need to distance yourself from everything and everyone and just take a step back. Lose everything you hold onto subconsciously forget your social status, job, possessions, your name, your past, your future, everything you think you are. When you take everything away you need to look at what's left, all that is yours: is you, and this moment. Every nanometer of your body is a miraculous machine that's been evolving and been built up for millions of years even now, there are exact pieces of DNA from your ancient forefathers, from ancient reptiles, from fish, from tiny microorganisms. They have all contributed to create what you are. All of your ancestors have left their DNA inside you. This is the miracle of our existence.
    Get out of the habit of constantly wanting something more, or avoiding something you consider bad. Let every moment be a challenge for your love of life, what's good for one is bad for another, just be grateful for the moment you were given and take it all in. You can see this love in children.
    A lot of people don't truly appreciate the incomprehensible majesty that they are, and that's all around them. Our mind becomes used to things and bored of the old. We constantly label everything and conceptualize and end up forgetting about the focus of attention and what living really means
    A near death experience can sometimes awaken this love for the moment. What if I told you that you had a brain tumor that was going to kill you in your sleep tonight. Forget about those feelings of anxiety and despair, just imagine that you have completely accepted your fate and you're waiting to die now. I had a really vivid dream like this and I can't describe the peace I felt afterwards.
    Be patient and witness life unfold in front of you. Don't judge or label anything as good or bad, just take what you get and make the best out of YOUR moment.

    *sorry this is really long, I feel kinda stupid for writing it and don't even know if it actually helped, but I'm sure it could help someone haha

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  • pkelly89
    12 years ago | pl

    you're either a little depressed, lonely, or a mixture of both.

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  • CountessCoolout
    13 years ago | pl

    Yes, depression is normal.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    how do u feel like you feel nothing when u say u like people and like friendship and love if those are there then i dont think your hollow but sounds like u have a couple problems especially the part when u feel like not even the people close to u know u i mean its a wierd thing i know because iv done the same thing my whole life realy and it doesnt realy help when people like us have secrets stashed away which im guessing u do either something youv done something thats happened to u or something youv done because the stuff that happened to u before has offected you it all sounds wierd but still if people are happy with ur mask let them keep looking at it its wt i usualy say :)

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    • dudewithoutaclue
      13 years ago | pl

      I don't like the mask, but you're right. At least I will continue to have friends.

      The past few days, I've been making adjustments to the way I interact. I've been opening up to my true self a little. I feel a lot better because of this.

      Half mask, Half me? I suppose I could meet halfway somewhere :)

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  • dudewithoutaclue
    13 years ago | pl

    Thanks for the advice! Especially Squeegla :)

    I think this might be whats missing in my life right now..So far nothing has made me feel fulfilled or truly satisfied and being part of such a shallow and base-level society has just made it worse.

    I'm going to give it a try :)

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  • squeegela
    13 years ago | pl

    I'm sorry this is happening to you, you sound like a really great guy! Is it possible that you feel empty because you aren't doing something meaningful to you? I have been where you are and the only thing that helps me is working for/with truly deserving people. I run non profit organiations and helping the disabled has made all the difference! When you do something for a person who truly needs help, the rewards are staggering! Sometimes I feel like I get more from t than the people I'm helping! Try working with kids with disabilities or some other charity. It might help fill the void and will definetly help u meet "deeper"
    friends, those who might understand what you are going thru. I think there is nothing sexier or more facinating that a man who thinks of others enough to volunteer!
    I wish you all the best! Hang in there, you will find the right way

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    • dudewithoutaclue
      13 years ago | pl

      Thanks for the advice! Especially Squeegla :)

      I think this might be whats missing in my life right now..So far nothing has made me feel fulfilled or truly satisfied and being part of such a shallow and base-level society has just made it worse.

      I'm going to give it a try :)

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  • Secretlysafe
    13 years ago | pl

    You're probably just depressed. Well most of what you said sounds like just a little blues or depression. Its best if you talk to a doctor even just a family doctor it will help a lot! I hope things work out for you. Think positive & don't hold things in it only makes it worse.

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