is it normal to fantasize about your own abuser/rapist?

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago | pl

    I understand. I’ve been masterbating since I was 6. One of my therapists was actually the one who said I was probably sexually abused. Which makes sense because my birth father is a registered sex offender and raped my mom. I’m actually only here because he raped her. I don’t have any clear memories of anything before 6, even though I was adopted away from them at 4.
    I’m basically a sex addict that’s never had sex. It’s all I freaking think about but I’m terrified of it at the same time. I have PTSD and ADHD and other things. It’s frustrating because I want a boyfriend but I hate man too. I understand you.

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    • mischieflover
      5 years ago | pl

      im sorry for what you've been through too :( and def yes, i want love too but i have so much hate and distrust, mostly to men but (im bisexual) im distrustful of everyone so i dont trust other women either.

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    • mischieflover
      5 years ago | pl

      thank you for responding to my post. i think im a bit of a sex addict too. never had actual sex but i watch a lot of porn too and masturbate at least 3 times a day. doesnt interfere with everyday life, then again i an unable to work and am home all the time anyway :/

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