Is it normal to fall in love with a former student?

61% Normal
20 Comments

I started a career teaching this year and as the school year came to a close, so did my marriage. Things were getting tense and problems began piling up. When summer began, my free time didn't help me. I started weighing my options and decided what to do. What I didn't know was, one of my former students was attracted to me. At first, a crush was fine, but this was more. Once she found out that my marriage was on the rocks, she became more open about her feelings and hopes for a real relationship. We talked... a lot. Our ages are winter-spring, 40 and 18 years old. The conversations we have about this are very mature and she makes me feel wonderful. I wish to pursue this relationship but am unsure of what consequences this will have if the truth came out. Our relationship so close to the end of the year will undoubtedly raise the question, "Did we have a relationship DURING the school year?" Putting that into perspective, we both know that time is against us. If we were to revisit this relationship 4 years later, nothing might be said. Of course, 4 years from now, she will be 22 years old and perceived as more mature. The answer may be clear, time will tell...

Voting Results
61% Normal
Based on 77 votes (47 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    ...... 40? 18? That's kind of creepy. It's like one of those weird movies..

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    • RomeoDeMontague
      10 years ago

      This is actually not very uncommon. You see it happen in the news all the time. OP is clearly having a midlife crises and wants to feel young again.

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  • headhunter007
    13 years ago

    Gross!!

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  • alanieundead
    13 years ago

    I think it's adorable, but im kinky like that anyway.
    age is a number, Just don't break her heart.

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  • randomjelly
    13 years ago

    Sad. Pitiful.

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  • yayasaga
    13 years ago

    I don't even think you should be allowed to be a teacher actually! And most of the comments on here are completely wrong! You know that what you're doing isn't right.

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  • BfingIToucher
    13 years ago

    I think you are too close to your divorce to see things clearly. Eighteen is very young! And beginning this thing with a student/teacher relationship adds a whole other complication. It might be legal, but I don't think healthy. I think she has a crush, that's it.

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  • Echoes
    13 years ago

    Just make sure you don't devastate her once you're out of the divorce hangover.

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  • paradoxinsoxs
    13 years ago

    No big deal as long as she isn't in high school at all right? Follow your heart amigo

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  • yayasaga
    13 years ago

    I think it's wrong and creepy. How mature could an 18 year old possibly be?! I think just that fact that she is considering being with a man who is 40 shows a maturity level. Not a wise decision. I would be so pissed at my daughter for thinking about something like that with her 40 year old teacher and be disgusted by the man!! CREEPO!!! What gives you the right to steal such innocence away from such a young life?! Get someone your own age!!

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  • peterr
    10 years ago

    I think it is great and I have had sex with a few teachers and it was magnificent! You are okay in my book.

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  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    I have seen this happen so many times before. You are going through a mid life crises. You want to feel young and you feel bad about getting old. You will be alright and you should find someone your own age. Dating someone young will not make you young. You have to understand this. Yes its horrible you are going through a divorce and very sorry for that. Yet this is not dealing with the issue. Digression is not a good thing. You need to accept you are an adult and there is no turning back now. That child attracted to you probobly has some mommy daddy problems and so see you as a type of mommy daddy figure. This might work but it does not mean its healthy for either of you. I do hope you read this message before you pursue.

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  • funnymoments
    10 years ago

    make sure that she loves you back

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  • madsquirrel
    12 years ago

    You say that your marriage just ended so I would probably not jump from the frying pan into the fire so quickly. Give yourself some time to be alone and think about how you can better yourself for your next relationship. This student is only 18 and she probably doesnt really know what she wants in life yet. If you really care for her then let her mature and experience her young life. It would be tragic for you to pull this young women into something that might fail anyways because of your age differences and experience levels. There are some very good dating sites out there so maybe you can find someone who may even has went through what you are going through and closewr to your age. Im not judging you but if my 18 yr old daughter was seeing a divorced/separated 40 yr old man then I would try very hard to discourage it from going any further. She is after all, young enough to be your daughter. Dont pluck a beautiful flower out of the ground before its time. Its just not right. Good Luck in the future and concentrate on your career if you value it.
    PS "Keeping secrets is not a good thing. Most people only keep secrets like that when they know its wrong"

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  • hugostiglitz
    13 years ago

    do you remember what 18 year old girls were like? do you remember what YOU were like at 18? those two things should be enough to turn you off

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  • nocharge
    13 years ago

    There are red flags here, and you could both get hurt. You're in a period of emotional turmoil and are needy. She's in a period of rapid change (still maturing) and won't be the same person in four years that she is today. Plus, she's prone to fantasy at her age. This is the reason for the general rule, half your age plus seven years is the youngest you should date.

    If you decide to pursue this, don't put the cart before the horse. Finalize your divorce first. Then get couples' counseling because neither of you is really thinking straight and you both need outside input. If you're both hoping for a lasting relationship (marriage) put the effort into it. But this sounds more like a stepping stone relationship for both of you, so you should keep it very discreet for a while. If you merely have an affair with a recent student at the time you got a divorce...well, it doesn't look good and somebody's going to bring it up.

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  • Onllyandreew
    13 years ago

    Were putting you on the list of registered sex offenders.

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    • MahBoi24
      12 years ago

      Uhhh, she's 18 dude...

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  • dinz
    13 years ago

    Well obviously you are fully aware of the potential consequences of you proceed with this relationship.

    But as long as both parties have genuine consent and of legal age - I see no problem.

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  • 343Boy
    13 years ago

    I think it's okay, but you should probably keep it a secret for a while.

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