Is it normal to express my love for him in this way?

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8 Comments

I've recently fallen hard for this guy because he is everything that I as a person dream of. He is my real life Prince Charming in disguise. However, right now he does not need a girlfriend or a wife. He needs a friend there to listen to him and see all sides of himself. I am thinking about being that friend but if I do become his friend, I fear that we might get to the point where we both are interested in a girlfriend & boyfriend relationship and all the drama that comes with that. He does not need that drama and I don't want that drama. I just want to be there for him because I love him and this love will exist regardless of me being in an "official" relationship with him. So to solve this, I've decided before I tell him that I really do care for him and love him with all my heart, I will get in a relationship with someone else just so that he doesn't feel pressured to return my feelings. This relationship will be platonic in nature but only I will know of this secret. I feel that if I approach him as a single woman, he will be less willing to open up with me because he has been hurt in the past when it came to loving another girl. So not giving him that option to pursue this type of relationship (the complicated one that exists between bf & gf) will help him let go of all his inhibitions about expressing his emotions/feelings about how he has been hurt in the past and reassure him that I am there for him and don't want anything in return. Is it normal to do this for someone you consider The One?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 8 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • SassyFrassyLassie_old
    13 years ago | pl

    Let me get this straight:
    You have the hots for a guy that You think is the total package. You KNOW that he doesn't reciprocate Your feelings right now. You want to be his "friend" because You want to get closer to him, hoping that you two will grow closer and therefore he might want You as much as You want him? Not only that, You also want to disrespect the feelings of another poor fool so that You can further MANIPULATE the guy You want.

    Really?!

    You are manipulative and selfish. You have convinced yourself that you're doing this for his benefit as well as your own, but the truth is: You only care about what you want and nothing else.

    Grow up.

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    • 2matahari007
      13 years ago | pl

      Thanks for that perspective.

      I know now that I don't deserve him or anybody else for that matter. I'll have to fix myself first.

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      • SassyFrassyLassie_old
        13 years ago | pl

        You know, it's a step in the right direction that you can see how scheming like that is not the moral thing to do. It's not that you don't "deserve" him, it just that your plan to win him over was a bit crazy. You could just be a friend for him and tell him how wonderful you think he is - everyone likes to have people who point out their good characteristics.

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  • deepthought33
    13 years ago | pl

    Just become his friend. What is wrong with getting to know someone inside and out, developing trust and enjoying each others company while still being freinds. If you're worried about his reaction to such strong feelings then keep them your secret for a bit. If it is meant to be then there will be a time when you can tell him and he will be ready for a relationship and will reciprocate. By that time, your friendship will likely be so stable that, to a point, he'll already know that you love him.

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  • MissDethstar
    11 years ago | pl

    If he's your prince charming why treat him like that ? Imagine one day he find out that you had this all planned in your head to lure him to you. That's manipulation and it's wrong, love doesn't come that way. If you want a beautiful relationship just let things come as they will...be there for him because you WANT to ! Don't hurt another guy for this matter..

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  • paradoxinsoxs
    13 years ago | pl

    Don't do that to him--- if you want him tell him and wait for him- and don't you think about how you might hurt the new guys feeling, his is essentially going to be your toy-- that's cruel and weird if you ask me-- but I'd say all women are evil and kenneling beings who only motives are shinny rocks and fake paper money.

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  • chome
    12 years ago | pl

    I don't like this..that sounds like a lot of complicated wording for leading someone on..

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  • waterfalls02
    13 years ago | pl

    If you really love him like you say then you shouldn't manipulate with him. Just be a true friend who doesn't have any thoughts of hurting anyone.

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