It sounds like you are severely emotionally dysfunctional yourself. A normal, healthy, sane person would realize that they are not in a good situation and walk away. You are emotionally dysfunctional in a sense yourself because you believe that you are not worth the effort it would take to leave him and you enjoy the emotional turbulence that your relationship puts you through because you are unstable yourself and can not enjoy stability.
You're facing the possibility of this man destroying you, killing you, harming the ones you love and actually fucking up your life. I know it seems fun to you, but don't be like every other idiot on the planet that thinks that fun moments are worth destroying their damned lives over. Get some therapy, figure out why you hate yourself, leave this asshole before he seriously harms you, get a restraining order and a fucking gun if you have to, and find a BDSM colony if you still feel like being treated like shit will turn you on. At least with them, they'll stop when you ask.
Is it normal to enjoy my abusive relationship?
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It sounds like you are severely emotionally dysfunctional yourself. A normal, healthy, sane person would realize that they are not in a good situation and walk away. You are emotionally dysfunctional in a sense yourself because you believe that you are not worth the effort it would take to leave him and you enjoy the emotional turbulence that your relationship puts you through because you are unstable yourself and can not enjoy stability.
You're facing the possibility of this man destroying you, killing you, harming the ones you love and actually fucking up your life. I know it seems fun to you, but don't be like every other idiot on the planet that thinks that fun moments are worth destroying their damned lives over. Get some therapy, figure out why you hate yourself, leave this asshole before he seriously harms you, get a restraining order and a fucking gun if you have to, and find a BDSM colony if you still feel like being treated like shit will turn you on. At least with them, they'll stop when you ask.