I guess the distinction here is "having a fetish" vs. "fetishized". But the latter can really change once you meet someone. Speaking from personal experience, my mind is almost always in a really sexual place, and if I see a woman and think she's hot, that really is all I see.
But that is also literally all I see, before you meet a person, you aren't going to have very much to go off of beyond their looks.
But then if I'm lucky enough to spend some time with them, that's when you figure out if you really can get along with them, and learn all these other dynamics to them. The attraction is still there, but now has so much more to go along with it.
It isn't as though obsessing over a persons looks prohibits you from obsessing over the person (who they are)
But then obviously yeah if it turns out they never start seeing you as human, those are clearly not the ones to keep around.
That seems to be the thing though, I become fetishized only after I get to know the person. I don't really introduce myself like "Hey, I don't have a dick" It's usually after a few dates I bring it up.
I've tried leaving it untold until we got to bed, and that really didn't play over well. And the times I have met someone who had prior knowledge or I told early on, those women treated it as all I was. I had a Tinder for like a week and put in that I was intersex and got bombarded by bisexual men and dominatrixes. Which I have no problem with, but really wasn't what I was going for.
If I wasn't born the way I am, I'd be prudish as all hell, but being as I am, I've kinda been forced into this whole kink community and I'm just not into it. I like that people find me sexy, don't get me wrong, I'd be damn complimented if I was seen as a hunky piece of meat, but not when I'm trying to have an actual relationship. Also from years of insecurities I've kinda created a lowlying dislike for bisexual women. Which is god awful of me, I know. But I've heard variations of "Oh well I like girls and guys so this works" too many damn times.
crap dude. I don't blame you. I'd say that there are a bunch of low-sex drive vanilla progressive girls, but they'd have the hidden motive of the relationship being 'queer' and 'woke' which I honestly don't know if that's any better. I hope some no bullshit awesome girl comes your way soon.
Is it normal to embrace being fetishized? Intersex.
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I guess the distinction here is "having a fetish" vs. "fetishized". But the latter can really change once you meet someone. Speaking from personal experience, my mind is almost always in a really sexual place, and if I see a woman and think she's hot, that really is all I see.
But that is also literally all I see, before you meet a person, you aren't going to have very much to go off of beyond their looks.
But then if I'm lucky enough to spend some time with them, that's when you figure out if you really can get along with them, and learn all these other dynamics to them. The attraction is still there, but now has so much more to go along with it.
It isn't as though obsessing over a persons looks prohibits you from obsessing over the person (who they are)
But then obviously yeah if it turns out they never start seeing you as human, those are clearly not the ones to keep around.
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Anonymous Post Author
6 years ago
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That seems to be the thing though, I become fetishized only after I get to know the person. I don't really introduce myself like "Hey, I don't have a dick" It's usually after a few dates I bring it up.
I've tried leaving it untold until we got to bed, and that really didn't play over well. And the times I have met someone who had prior knowledge or I told early on, those women treated it as all I was. I had a Tinder for like a week and put in that I was intersex and got bombarded by bisexual men and dominatrixes. Which I have no problem with, but really wasn't what I was going for.
If I wasn't born the way I am, I'd be prudish as all hell, but being as I am, I've kinda been forced into this whole kink community and I'm just not into it. I like that people find me sexy, don't get me wrong, I'd be damn complimented if I was seen as a hunky piece of meat, but not when I'm trying to have an actual relationship. Also from years of insecurities I've kinda created a lowlying dislike for bisexual women. Which is god awful of me, I know. But I've heard variations of "Oh well I like girls and guys so this works" too many damn times.
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rayb12
6 years ago
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crap dude. I don't blame you. I'd say that there are a bunch of low-sex drive vanilla progressive girls, but they'd have the hidden motive of the relationship being 'queer' and 'woke' which I honestly don't know if that's any better. I hope some no bullshit awesome girl comes your way soon.