Is it normal to deal with indecisiveness at every stage?
Things that aren't strict routine to me are almost impossible to carry out.
- The first time I went for clothes shopping was at 18. I was too nervous and sweating worrying other people will judge me for some reason that doesn't even exist.
- I have been fond of some weird dance 11 years ago. I still am, but I am terrified at the idea of going ahead with starting to practice.
- I found a piano that my sister doesn't use anymore. Still dead scared to tinker around with it even though she doesn't need it anymore. I never played an instrument before.
Basically, any decision that I have to make myself is near impossible. It's like fighting with myself until I make up my mind. I am very systematic. Unless I am spoon-fed at first, I can't predictably move on with something.
On the other hand, I feel hyper when I have friends around me and I happen to lead some cool ideas and plans. Just when some friends who I know well are around me. So maybe that's more of an outlier.