Is it normal to crush almost exclusively on footballers?

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  • Iain Dowie. What a stud! Despite resembling the pastiche of humanity that Dr. Frankenstein rejected before making his better-looking younger brother with the bolt stuck in his neck.

    Still, at least there's Wayne Rooney, a Shrek-alike fucker of prostitute grandmothers. Or John Terry, a Nazi in human form who managed to transcend even that repulsive nature with his vile sexual conduct. Or Ryan Giggs, not a Nazi but still a lowlife cheating fuckface.

    But at least they've got tight glutes. That's all that matters when they're down some back alley with their arse bobbing around in their frenzied cheating with a pox-ridden old whore.

    Peter Beardsley was okay, though. When he stood up straight to hide his hunchback and closed his mouth to conceal the fact that 90% of his teeth had fallen out.

    They're all hideous twatfaces. Except Graeme Le Saux who had a degree in fine art or something and a French ancestry. He wasn't a hideous twatface at all. He was a pretentious twatface.

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    • Huh? What about Kaka? He has a great personality, not to mention the looks. His wife is very lucky. He was my first football crush.

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      • Kaka? Okay, at least you've got taste. Yes, I agree, although I'm more of a Sergio Ramos girl myself. It's his eyes. He looks like a gunslinger. Although I never understood why anyone would sling guns when they're much more effective as a weapon if you use them to shoot bullets.

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        • Damn, I thought he looked weird when he had long hair. But now... yum! Still, though, I have this feeling that he sleeps around a lot and is generally a d'bag. Well, few footballers aren't anyway.

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    • dappled?

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      • I love your username, although I can't work out what it means. It's like gently chiding someone, like a little "hit". Or like Slapler or Tutler. Either way, it's great. You should be a leader of some kind. You'd be superb.

        And no, slightly stippled. Strange fucking question. I've changed my mind. You're a dangerous loonie and should be shot in the face in a bunker.

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        • I've actually tried that, you'll just end up an old man with half his face blown off to match his testicles, living in this godforsaken Argentina with a bunch of nazi bastards. They were able to give me the face of a very successful Georgian man called Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili, who had died a few years after my suicide attempt. The mustache still grows well, but it has a mind of its own. I suppose that is common with transplants. Some people say I now have the good looks of Stalin with the fashion-sense of Hitler. They want me dead, for reasons that cannot be justified.
          My little Hit is called das Hitlein. I do like Slapler though. You can be dappler.

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          • I do not associate with Georgians. It was a very poor era for my country. A lot of Georgians were Germans.

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