I think there will always be some people who get along better than others, some you just dont connect with, some that just dont want to connect with anyone, just do their job. But they shouldn't be outright rude and disrespectful. It sounds bad that they are actively avoiding you, especially when they also form cliques with other coworkers. Seems you are being treated unfairly. There is probably some reason people dont like you (may not be a big obvious thing), but I dont know what. At the minimum make sure your hygiene is good
Ironically the day I just worked I was concerned I smelled because I didn’t have a chance to shower that day and it had been a few days. I won’t say that was it, though. I’ve seen them cluster amongst themselves often enough. Even if I try to go by them and join in a conversation it just always feels like I’m trying or efforting or I don’t fit in. Unless there’s something being talked about where we all really relate I guess.
They are all younger, early 20s, and I’m in my late 30s. Sometimes I think it’s an age thing. Sometimes it doesn’t bother me at all, especially if I am just doing my job. But it’s nice and fun to be joking along with someone else or have a good convo with your coworkers.
I definitely feel like I’m not being myself at all times there. I’ve caught myself acting like my manager, and I think I do it because something about her makes me uncomfortable and since I can’t figure out how to respond I just act like her because this is a job, that I need and want to be part of, at least initially.
It’s so hard to be yourself and not wear a mask while keeping a job and keeping things professional and respectful. I’m not a horrible person, I think this is more about hiding my feelings, acting like they don’t bother or hurt me when in fact it does.
what I'm realizing is that there is definitely a clique going on at work and it's something I'm not used to. Most of my jobs working in the service industry, I felt on the same page as everyone else, or there was always people I could lean in to or side with, etc. Right now there are times I'm feeling excluded, not part of things, I have to be nosey to find out workplace information (like, why did so and so call off? turns out they have covid! something like that should be told to me, even if in the grapevine vs directly a manager)
There's times when the other girls aren't communicating or respecting me properly. And so that just builds up this sense that they don't like me and I don't like them, which makes me apprehensive to talk. And if it's truly a clique then maybe that's exactly their intent, they don't want to get to know me or have me in their group.
I literally had this happen at a job once years ago, as a barista and it was a small crew. One minute I felt I was part of things, involved, and on the same page, the next minute I felt like I was out of the loop, I wasn't being told things or I had to find things outs, when I confronted people about things they dodged the truth, etc.
This is not fun. It makes me paranoid. It makes me freak out because it's at work and work is money and also a livelihood and a sense of purpose and there is so much anxiety and uncertainty in trying to find a new job and think it's going to happen again, or worse that the problem is actually me somehow.
IIN to constantly feel like your coworkers don’t like you?
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I think there will always be some people who get along better than others, some you just dont connect with, some that just dont want to connect with anyone, just do their job. But they shouldn't be outright rude and disrespectful. It sounds bad that they are actively avoiding you, especially when they also form cliques with other coworkers. Seems you are being treated unfairly. There is probably some reason people dont like you (may not be a big obvious thing), but I dont know what. At the minimum make sure your hygiene is good
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donkeykong716
1 year ago
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donkeykong716
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Ironically the day I just worked I was concerned I smelled because I didn’t have a chance to shower that day and it had been a few days. I won’t say that was it, though. I’ve seen them cluster amongst themselves often enough. Even if I try to go by them and join in a conversation it just always feels like I’m trying or efforting or I don’t fit in. Unless there’s something being talked about where we all really relate I guess.
They are all younger, early 20s, and I’m in my late 30s. Sometimes I think it’s an age thing. Sometimes it doesn’t bother me at all, especially if I am just doing my job. But it’s nice and fun to be joking along with someone else or have a good convo with your coworkers.
I definitely feel like I’m not being myself at all times there. I’ve caught myself acting like my manager, and I think I do it because something about her makes me uncomfortable and since I can’t figure out how to respond I just act like her because this is a job, that I need and want to be part of, at least initially.
It’s so hard to be yourself and not wear a mask while keeping a job and keeping things professional and respectful. I’m not a horrible person, I think this is more about hiding my feelings, acting like they don’t bother or hurt me when in fact it does.
what I'm realizing is that there is definitely a clique going on at work and it's something I'm not used to. Most of my jobs working in the service industry, I felt on the same page as everyone else, or there was always people I could lean in to or side with, etc. Right now there are times I'm feeling excluded, not part of things, I have to be nosey to find out workplace information (like, why did so and so call off? turns out they have covid! something like that should be told to me, even if in the grapevine vs directly a manager)
There's times when the other girls aren't communicating or respecting me properly. And so that just builds up this sense that they don't like me and I don't like them, which makes me apprehensive to talk. And if it's truly a clique then maybe that's exactly their intent, they don't want to get to know me or have me in their group.
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donkeykong716
1 year ago
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I literally had this happen at a job once years ago, as a barista and it was a small crew. One minute I felt I was part of things, involved, and on the same page, the next minute I felt like I was out of the loop, I wasn't being told things or I had to find things outs, when I confronted people about things they dodged the truth, etc.
This is not fun. It makes me paranoid. It makes me freak out because it's at work and work is money and also a livelihood and a sense of purpose and there is so much anxiety and uncertainty in trying to find a new job and think it's going to happen again, or worse that the problem is actually me somehow.