Is it normal to cheat on my boyfriend, then abort to hide a pregnancy

29% Normal

I recently had a one night stand. I'd slept with this person once before and liked it a lot! All I kept thinking about was doing it again. Then I met L. I love L a lot, but he pisses me off badly. He says he loves me too but...

I had sex with L, my boyfriend then he went home. He brushed me off when he'd promised to come back the next day. He'd rather smoke weed and hang with his friends. Like a dummy I looked up A and he came over.

I didn't even enjoy it. The moment I saw A, I wondered why I even wanted him over. How cute he was, or good in bed went out the window, and I felt so guilty and numb. I didn't know how to say go home, so we had sex.

I could tell when he came in it was just about sex, so I don't know why I even put myself out there for this guy. I had a moment when he was over that I needed him to stop and he just sped up so he could hurry up and cum, then go home. Why did I do this? He wasn't sexy to me when I saw him, and he smelled so strongly of alcohol that my room stunk of it.

My bf came in me the day before, as well as two days before that. So did A the next day. Based on signs I observed I know I was fertile and likely ovulated right after I was with L. Why didn't I use something with A? No idea...I think I might be pregnant though. And I was just pregnant right before this, and lost it. It was A's baby. What made me do this?

L, my boyfriend is so immature that I worry about having a kid with him. He takes me for granted, has a temper problem, and is a bit of a bully. A has 3 kids, takes care of them, but I know he doesn't care about me, so why have a child with him? What are the odds this is my boyfriends' baby and not the hookups'? I'm no longer infatuated with him at all! Am I wrong to consider an abortion? I've looked up sites on herbal abortion as well. I just don't know what to do.

I'm worried I might be a sex addict or be excited by the "thrill" of doing something like this. I'll tell you what though. I'm not excited right now. And I wish I could take it back. Is it normal to hookup behind my boyfriends back, and then abort a pregnancy that might be with the other guy?

Voting Results

29% Normal

Based on 95 votes (28 yes)

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Comments ( 43 )

ThisIsNotAUsername

12 years ago | pl

Read this back to yourself.
Do you consider this normal behaviour?
Because honestly, you sound like nothing more than an uneducated, cheating, pussymachine.
Get it sorted.

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- cantstopnow
  
  12 years ago
  
  I posted this to get honest feedback. Not to be insulted. But thank you, your comments will be taken into consideration. Btw what is a pussymachine?
  
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  - ThisIsNotAUsername
    
    12 years ago
    
    You wanted honest feedback but not to get insulted?
    What i gave you was honest feedback.
    What do you want me to do, say by aborting it you're doing the right thing? That you should hide your CHEATING from your boyfriend and pretend it never happened?
    Darling, this is the real world. Grow up.
    
    Google it. You will never look at yourself in the same way again...
    
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Noonesperfect

12 years ago | pl

Hoe

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- cantstopnow
  
  12 years ago
  
  Why I gotta be a garden tool???
  
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  - chewy
    
    12 years ago
    
    LMFAO hoe a garden tool
    
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  - Lubu99
    
    12 years ago
    
    are you really that stupid
    
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flax

12 years ago | pl

Where is your intelligence if you can't clearly make this decision on your own?? fuck it's not rocket science - dump the loser bf, stop fucking the loser you don't even like and abort the baby. Don't procreate if you are not going to take responsibility for it. The world is soooo overpopulated that children and families are dying daily of famine, war and disease that they don't need you and your trailer trash adding to it.

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- Lubu99
  
  12 years ago
  
  you tell them
  
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- cantstopnow
  
  12 years ago
  
  Whoa. Ok just remain calm, and keep your hands inside the vehicle? oO I'm trying to decide whether to stay with the boyfriend or not. I almost left him last night, but we talked on some of the things he does that bother me, and vice versa. It seemed to help. I'm never sleeping with the one night stand again. Even if I weren't with my boyfriend. Sleeping with him makes me feel like crap. I'm 50/50 on whether to have an abortion or not. If I do, I need to be able to hide it from my boyfriend. Part of me feels I don't want a child out there that's part me and part one of them. The other part says I could love the child and make it work. But my limitations say not to even consider it. And I would never place the child for adoption. There may be couples out there that want a baby, but its not my job to make them happy by destroying my life, sanity or body.
  
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Ono

12 years ago

Don't blame your bf because you decided to be unfaithful and abort a child. You're wholly responsible for your behavior. I think it's really odd that a few people think you deserve a better bf. Personally I think he deserves someone better.

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big.z

12 years ago

Hahahahaha u didn't know how to say go home so u had sex ! Uhm couldn't u just watch tv or something . Holy fuck

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- cantstopnow
  
  12 years ago
  
  I have issues with saying no to people. Plus I didn't want him to get mad at me. I figured get it over with, and forget about it.
  
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  - whtfld_mchll
    
    11 years ago
    
    All I've heard from you is a million excuses. Stop sleeping with shitty guys just to get back at someone it's immature. Fuck him and focus on what's really important which is your one year old. Get on some type of birth control if you're constantly going to be having unprotected sex with any guy who pays you a visit and finally, fix your self and this situation so your kid doesn't hate you when he/she comes of age.
    
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kittenlittle

12 years ago

yea it normal. They have people like you on Maury all the time. If your not ready to have a kid, you should just abort it or adopt it out. I would not want to have a kid and have the daddy be like those guys

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- cantstopnow
  
  12 years ago
  
  My boyfriend is acting even more like a turd lately, and the other guy won't call again till he wants some. My best friend says she wouldn't deal with either guy. I'm really leaning towards abortion, but then I look into my 1 year olds' eyes, and he's smiling at me. And I think: I wanted to get rid of you too. If not for someone making me think things through, he wouldn't be here. Pro-choice, but I don't want to rush into this. I've had one abortion. Not many regrets there, as I've looked the guy up since and he's a REAL winner. <sarcasm mine> Once I do this, there are no take backs, no do overs. Wish I knew what to do!
  
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  - Flippyfloppy
    
    11 years ago
    
    Why can't you just stop letting people cum inside???? Lmfao your a piece of white trash shit that's why you seem to know this so work on changeing
    
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    - cantstopnow
      
      11 years ago
      
      I like how it feels. In some ways I like the risk. I ended up being pregnant and I got pregnant again a few months after this. I might even be pregnant now...I just really like how it feels and in some ways its like a compulsion for me. I might have some sexual addiction issues, as when it gets like this, its hard for me to stop and not do it.
      
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      - Flippyfloppy
        
        11 years ago
        
        Would it hurt you if he cheated and came in some other chicks ass and you know it was better than any thing that he's ever done with you, it should hurt your feelings just thinking about it if your in love
        
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        cantstopnow
        
        11 years ago
        
        I left Louis for my sanity. He was cheating so I don't feel too bad lol. I ended up sleeping with Alan again on purpose after Louis acknowledged how much of a jerk he was. I felt zero guilt about it either. He was a jerk. He had the nerve to call me up after we broke up and ask me if I was still pregnant. His new girlfriend was curious. I said no. I was really polite and didnt tell him about Alan. I also didn't tell him if I hadn't miscarried I would have aborted rather than have his child. He seemed real miserable with her and I guess I got the best thing out of this. I'm happier and doing better without him and he can't stand it!
        
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      - Flippyfloppy
        
        11 years ago
        
        Go to the health department and get free birth control shot they are free or really cheap. Or go to the pharmacy and get the morn after pill after it happens
        
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        cantstopnow
        
        11 years ago
        
        Its too late for the shot. I have to wait it out. I have the times when I get really compulsive sexually. I've been in this position (pregnancy) so many times. This would be my fourth pregnancy in 15 months, and I'm tired of being so stupid.
        
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[Old Memory]

12 years ago

I'm so glad to not have people like this in my life. I didn't feel like writting anything productive.

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- cantstopnow
  
  12 years ago
  
  Sorry about that. I guess that could be confusing.
  
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  - cantstopnow
    
    12 years ago
    
    Oops meant to reply to the comment under yours. Anyway, I'm not a bad person. I just do stupid stuff. Trying to get better daily.
    
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cantstopnow

11 years ago

I ended up being pregnant. I lost it. Like a dummy, when I left Louis and Alan, I met a new boyfriend and got in the same predicament. He liked me to have sex with other guys. I ended up pregnant by his friend. Its hard for me at those moments to say no as its like a compulsion for me. I'm trying to work on getting better.

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- grindhard1
  
  11 years ago
  
  ha
  
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[Old Memory]

12 years ago

why do you want a baby? why dont you have safe sex? why dont you walk away from the whole lot? i dont understand

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Ono

12 years ago

Once a liar and cheat, always a liar and a cheat. Anyone who thinks otherwise is fooling themselves.

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[Old Memory]

12 years ago

If A is the kind of man you don't want to be with, then why be with him? Love is not a valid answer, at least not in this situation. As for L... I've always said that casual sex will lead to problems, whether personally, in future relationships, whatever. But no one listens. Anyways, if you didn't get pregnant, would you be saying this stuff now? Whatever it is, you know the answer. And whatever it is, just remember it's never too late to learn from it and start making changes.

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[Old Memory]

12 years ago

Well tbh I feel sorry for you and I don't think its was right that you aborted the baby...

Btw....dump your boyfriend and stop letting people take advantage of you.

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- cantstopnow
  
  12 years ago
  
  I haven't decided what to do yet. Neither is father material. One's a nice father, not a nice guy. The other not a nice guy or likely a nice father either...Meh.
  
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Josie_57

12 years ago

wow so many issues in one question. firstly, why are you with your bf if he's immature and a bully? and its normal to want an abortion, and go ahead if you dont want the baby, but i dont think you should keep it a secret, because an abortion is probably quite hard to hide from your bf and hes bound to find out about the other guy so its better if you tell him.

if i were you i would leave your bf, he sounds like a knob, get an abortion if thats what you want and start a clean slate. good luck :)

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- cantstopnow
  
  12 years ago
  
  I'm with his because I do love him. He was so sweet at first. A sweet guy who sometimes was a jerk. Now he's a jerk who's sometimes sweet. I have to hide an abortion. My bf is of Latino descent and he's very traditional. Won't set foot in a church, but his catholic faith influences things like this. I want to give him a chance, but I don't know. I'm also scared if I tell him about the other guy, he might hurt me.
  
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  - AngAnders112
    
    12 years ago
    
    nothing can stop me now
    cuz I don't care anymore
    
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  - chewy
    
    12 years ago
    
    Your boyfriend sucks im so much cooler than that piece of shit douche bag
    
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lynn08

12 years ago

wow!!!!!!I can't believe some of the comments on here.. How old are you people? You don't just say hey I decided to engage in sex which sole purpose is to make babies, and then get prego and say ah I'll just abort it because im not ready. WTF! Your whats wrong with society. I cannot believe it's that easy.Yall need Jesus.

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jenyouflex

6 years ago

Sounds like there is something seriously wrong in your relationship. I am not the kind of person (I've cheated myself) to tell you to break up with him, but find out what your big issues are that are holding you two back from genuinely loving one another. It's normal to find others attractive while dating someone, to want to cheat to get revenge on him, etc, but keep in mind that he is human and so are you, and you have the ability to stop yourself from making these decisions. I think it's normal to consider an abortion in your situation, but I certainly would not do it because it is a rash decision with drastic consequences. Are you sure you're ready for that? A one night stand can seem fun until you realize that there are real people affected by it. This is really hard. Good luck.

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Avant-Garde

12 years ago

First off, you shouldn't cheat and next time make sure to use protection. You say your boyfriend went in you before the other guy did. Well, there's a chance it could be his too. Why don't you have it and raise it as your own? If you start to feel guilty or if he thinks Something's up, then get a DNA test.

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ccjigsaw

12 years ago

I say that you take thsi as a learning experience and straighten up your life. You wronged your boyfriend, he deserves to know, so tell him and dump him. Abortion is there for situations like this. Abort the baby for sure, but do it sooner than later. When it is still undeveloped

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pixie_dust

12 years ago

good lord, girl, get a pregnancy test! I hope to god ur not pregnant, but if u are, u might need to abort, as mean as that is, and as much as it sucks. what you CAN do, when u have an appointment to plan if, tell them that u can't tell your bf what ur doing, and confidentiality says they have to respect you. you could say you felt sick and went to the doctor and u have an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy that needs to be removed (or anything else you can think of) the nurses and staff deal with this all the time. forewarning.. it's not an easy out. ur gona feel like shit javing an abortion ! though you need to weigh the pros and cons here. I think that keepibg the pregnancy is a really bad idea under these circumstances. hopefully you'll learn and grow up from the pain and never need to hurt like this again due to stupid mistakes.

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dontgiveup:)

12 years ago

I'm not going to judge you, because everyone makes mistakes.... But I don't agree with having an abortion. You made that mistake, and with mistakes there comes consequences. Why make the baby inside you pay for a mistake that you made?? That isn't fair. There are many single mothers out there and a lot of them have made it without the father, I say you can too. You just have to work hard and accept the fact that you're now going to have more responsibilities, I think if you keep that baby you can learn a very valuable lesson, and it'll make you a better person. Whatever you do decide to do, please let it be something you won't regret in the future.

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Sweetz

12 years ago

A lot of A and L. You could've used fake names instead.

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to cheat on my boyfriend, then abort to hide a pregnancy