Is it normal to believe that men should have no say in abortions?

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  • I'll try to rephrase myself. English isn't my first language so sometimes I do get carried away and lose all concept of grammar.

    I agree with your last paragraph to a 100% Every child deserve to be born wanted by at least one parent and "pro-lifers" annoy the shit out of me because they, as you say, claim that the foetus has more rights than the woman carrying it.

    Moving on to the part you didn't understand: If I have sex with a man and we use a condom and we are both saying that we do not want children and the condom breaks I do not think I have any right to force parenting upon him if I for some reason decide to keep the baby.
    I should be able to take care of it alone both emotionally and financially and not force him to pay for a child he didn't want.

    As you said, the woman does have the final say and if she cannot financially support a child she should not have it at all.

    Unsure if you and I can ever agree on this however since it seems to be a subject were people have very different opinions and it may also have to do with how easy it is where you are from for a woman to finance her child alone.

    Here in Sweden I'd just get more well-fare if the father wasn't signed on any papers. since we have a rather good structure when it comes to poor people= Everyone are entitled to the essentials (Food, clothes, home, health-care, education) So there really is no need for me to demand that a man pays for a child he do not want if the decision to keep it is only mine.

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    • As someone who (like most white Australians) can speak only one language, I'm totally impressed - it never occurred to me that English wasn't your first language.

      I do see what you mean now and I agree ....... I've had friends, both lesbian and straight, who've had kids and not expected or wanted the male to be involved in financial support.

      From what I know of your country's welfare structure, it's the best in the world, isn't it? Ours is not too bad, but continually under attack from both sides of the political spectrum; for example, we had a female atheist childless Labour Prime Minister, who removed government child support from a big proportion of single parents, most of them women ...... I think she also thought she was a feminist, she certainly complained enough about her undoubtedly misogynist opposite number, who is now PM, but in my opinion at that stage he was only talking misogyny, she was doing it

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      • Thanks! I'm very interested in reading and writing and I've been trying my best to make my English vocabulary, sentence-structure and grammar as best as I can possibly make it since I intend to write in English (Swedish can only be read by a smaller amount of people, haha)

        Glad that you see where I am coming from at least. I am of course entirely with you that a child who bails on a pregnant mother where he once promised to stay should pay child support and help her through being an unwilling single mother.

        And I do not know what the rest of the world looks like but I am willing to agree with you anyway. We have been spoiled with a really good and blossoming country for many decades.
        But the last years after the financial crisis ( I don't even know if that's the proper term for it) Things have been going down-hill.
        High unemployment, longer queues to get your medical care and surgeries as well as over-worked nurses and doctors.

        Not to mention that we just laid 8 years under a government that prioritise the rich behind us.

        I think I ran away from topic there for a moment ...

        Anyway if what you say is true that is awful, around here there's a certain amount of cash that parents gets for each and everyone of their child. (One might argue that maybe a family that is doing really well should not get these extra money and they should instead be going to the poorest people but that's another story)

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        • So what are you going to write in English? Honestly, have a look at the standard of grammar etc on here from many English speaking people - you win hands down! Except I realised you meant "man" instead of "child" in 1st line of para 2, but that's just a mistake anyone could make. And I think you mean the govt prioritised rich AHEAD not behind ......

          So has that government just changed to something better or do you still have the shitty one? I know that here federally if there were an election the liberal coalition would be out, but I'm not that convinced the opposition are that much better.

          Yeah, that change to welfare has resulted in increased homelessness , women putting up with domestic violence because it's harder to leave on less money ... it stinks ...... also anecdotally more mums with young kids turning to sex work as a last resort to support themselves and their kids, and of course taking any job they can get even if it's paid under the award.

          Haven't noticed the pollies taking any cuts in salary or conditions though? How about in Sweden?

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          • Always feel free to correct my mistakes! That's how you learn and improve. I'm not one of those people that gets offended (Maybe I get a little bit angry when I slip up in Swedish because it's such a rare thing for me to do)

            I will try to explain this in English, it's complex even in Swedish but: We had an election in September and another party won. But for it to be able to lead Sweden it needs the support of enough other party's with similar politics.
            And they didn't got that so now in Marsh we need to have another election and now people are trying to stop this second election from happening because they know that the one party that wants a more stable, smaller healthy immigration will gain more support from the people and all other party's tries their hardest to prevent them from getting any power. (LAst election they had 13% of the votes, recent measurements says they might even go very close to 18% )

            best advice, if you are interested would be to read some articles about it in English. I know there was something in an US paper some months ago. I am probably missing out on some key-words that would make this understandable

            It's an awful thing to be forced to stay with someone who abuses you ... even worse when it's really common n Sweden as well where we really don't NEED man to support us ... I have a friend with two kids and she's only 23 ... she's with this violent controlling guy that treats her like shit in front of her two and four year old ... He even started the abuse 3-4 days after getting to know her so there wasn't even this slow process of breaking her down she just took it.
            Ugh, can't really wrap my mind around certain people.

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            • As an Anarchist I feel free to criticise ALL political systems and I don't know what voting system you have in Sweden. In Australia we have compulsory voting, which does change how people participate, because you can actually be fined for not voting... well theoretically, if you go to the polling booth & get your name crossed off they can't make you vote and can't then fine you.

              We have a situation now where in the federal upper house, the Senate, no party has an absolute majority, so the balance of power is held by the independents and the Greens. The independents include some total wackos, nearly all right wing, who can virtually now run the country by doing deals and blocking legislation they don't like. This is because you can't just vote for the party you want, you have to preference every single candidate or your vote isn't valid, so these weirdos get in on preferences when hardly anyone put them first ....... complicated I know, I hope I'm making sense!

              I thought you might be interested because it sounds similar to what's happening in your country. I don't think you have compulsory voting though, do you?

              Hope you don't mind a few corrections: the plural of party is parties, not party's, which would be the party having something belonging to it, for example, the party's policy is ........ It's March, not Marsh, which is a bog. Other than that, congratulations again on your written English!

              It is awful to watch that sort of situation, especially when there are kids involved. I've had women close to me putting up with abuse and there's not much you can do except be there and keep reminding her that she deserves better, try and reinforce her strengths but try not to get in between them in case they both turn on you! You could keep asking her why she puts up with it ..... I had to do this with my daughter & her second husband, he didn't physically abuse her but continually belittled and verbally abused her. In the end she did leave, and at least I have a lovely grand-daughter from that marriage, but he still verbally harrasses her whenever he gets the chance.

              Keep writing!

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              • I'm not a 100% sure if I understand you but I think I do!

                here we cannot get any real consequences of not voting besides that the average opinion of people who do not vote is that you are a lazy person that don't have the right to complain about anything.

                I have however heard that Australia deals with Immigration far better than what Sweden does.

                And indeed! I am very interested in politics and what's going on around the world and talking to a lot of people from all over the world really does broaden one's perspective of things.

                I have sort of been withdrawn from this friend as of late, it is so draining to know what is going on in her life especially when she does not seem to listen.
                She used to go to the gym and was very close to reach her goal and now she doesn't go to the gym anymore, isn't allowed to wear make-up and has de-activated her FB and has even at least once deleted my phone-number because he wanted her to.

                it's just too draining you know?

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