Is it normal to believe performing oral should be....

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  • Please do not give in to either externally imposed pressure to have any kind of sexual relationships nor your own internal critic, who might say you should have sex (oral or otherwise) because everyone else is.

    Try your best to save it for the right person. The more sexual relationships you have, the more problems you are likely to have with emotional intimacy when you are older. Just look up "problems with emotional intimacy" on the internet and see the issues longer term couples are having because they had previous sexual relationships. It's staggering.

    I have not had many sexual relationships but really, most of what I had haven't been worth the barriers they create (on both sides because my partner had several relationships before me too) to emotional intimacy in a long-term relationship (nearly a decade for me). There is an eternal quality to any sexual encounter and an energetic melding which just doesn't depart as soon as the physical act is over with.

    Given my time again, I would not lose my virginity the way I did. To keep it for that special someone really is not a puritanical or even religious attitude; it is a way of preparing the ground for feeling secure and forging an endless deepening of intimacy with that special someone in the safe haven of the relationship. There is far more to losing virginity than just the physical act. It has psychological repercussions for the rest of your life and emotional intimacy is what makes it special, not the physical act. And it should be special because it is a rite of passage and as such, sacred.

    Also, STDs are very real and could cause fertility problems and other issues that all have ramifications for your whole health and wellbeing. If you ever want children, you do not want to have the stress (and expense) of dealing with fertility issues that often affect women who have contracted STD's. I've seen that happen to others (not me) and it breaks some psychologically.

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