Him trying to be with you, all while he was with his girlfriend, shows that he's willing to jump from one relationship to another when he feels like he has a better offer or wants someone else. He may be just praying on you.
You don't know how long he was with this other girl, and honestly I don't know if it would make it better or worse. Maybe had been with the other girl long enough to have sex with him. Maybe that was it. He had a conquest. That could mean you are next. Maybe he was with her over a year. You don't know if the relationship was crumbling or just not right for him. Or if things were fine and he just didn't care about breaking her trust or her heart
What do you expect for the future with this guy? You've been with him only a week. He pulled a serious red flag and then tried to get with you.
Also consider the age gap. I'm not saying he's too old for you, necessarily. But you don't think its kind of gross for a man almost 10 years older to meet you and jump into things so fast? You are 19. I understand you are over 18, but just so recently you were 16. The physical difference is very little. That to me is a little creepy of him. I'm not putting you down . Please understand that. I'm putting him down. I don't like how fast he's moving with you in this situation.
I think I could accept it as more normal if he was taking it slow and trying to gain your trust and affections. It just seems like he doesn't care and wants your body.
I agree, feeling turned on and wanting sex is normal. But be careful who it's with or you'll get hurt. He may make you feel dirty afterward if it doesn't feel right. He may even be a selfish lover trying to get off.
I'm sure you wanted to hear that you should give him a shot, but you have to think beyond his words and consider his actions. Words can be very pretty. Dress them up the way you want. But actions are much more clear.
It doesn't make it better to know that he was with his now ex-girlfriend for 12 years. I'm just confused because my friends didn't give me the best advice and I don't think they're being honest with me..sometimes I feel like I should contact his ex but I know it's a stupid idea that'll turn horribly wrong..
The good thing is that when I was with him the other night he wouldn't do anything I wasn't comfortable with and I even told him I wasn't going to have sex with him anytime soon which he says he understands and is okay with.. So I guess I should just see what he's like meanwhile.?
Before I forget, thank you so much for your response! It was the most helpful =)
I'm glad it helped you! It seems like you are taking the careful steps. :)
I was in a relationship with a lot of red flags that I ignored. I started making up excuses for him and believed them. I started saying things will change after this or that. It doesn't. I wanted to like this guy so much. I loved him truly, but as the excitement of first love began to wear off, I wondered what I had been thinking. I'm not in that relationship anymore. Once I began seeing the truth, I couldn't un-see it, and I feel out of love. I was in love with the facade.
Sounds like you took a good stand. :)Just keep looking for red flags. Good luck to you. Post on here again as things progress. We'd like to hear you are doing well, with him or without :)
I've still been seeing him and I'm so happy to say that he hasn't tried to pressure me at all into doing anything! I don't know... but I do believe he cares for me now, at first I was very afraid he was trying to use me but he's actually been doing a lot for me and we've been going out so many places. He introduced me to his folks and showed me around his part of town... This is a good sign right? ^-^
Wait, he's 28 and he was with this girl for 12 years. That means he was seeing her when he was 16. Earlier, you mentioned there were other girls. When did he have time for them if he was with her for the last 12 years?
Is it normal to be with this guy at all?
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Him trying to be with you, all while he was with his girlfriend, shows that he's willing to jump from one relationship to another when he feels like he has a better offer or wants someone else. He may be just praying on you.
You don't know how long he was with this other girl, and honestly I don't know if it would make it better or worse. Maybe had been with the other girl long enough to have sex with him. Maybe that was it. He had a conquest. That could mean you are next. Maybe he was with her over a year. You don't know if the relationship was crumbling or just not right for him. Or if things were fine and he just didn't care about breaking her trust or her heart
What do you expect for the future with this guy? You've been with him only a week. He pulled a serious red flag and then tried to get with you.
Also consider the age gap. I'm not saying he's too old for you, necessarily. But you don't think its kind of gross for a man almost 10 years older to meet you and jump into things so fast? You are 19. I understand you are over 18, but just so recently you were 16. The physical difference is very little. That to me is a little creepy of him. I'm not putting you down . Please understand that. I'm putting him down. I don't like how fast he's moving with you in this situation.
I think I could accept it as more normal if he was taking it slow and trying to gain your trust and affections. It just seems like he doesn't care and wants your body.
I agree, feeling turned on and wanting sex is normal. But be careful who it's with or you'll get hurt. He may make you feel dirty afterward if it doesn't feel right. He may even be a selfish lover trying to get off.
I'm sure you wanted to hear that you should give him a shot, but you have to think beyond his words and consider his actions. Words can be very pretty. Dress them up the way you want. But actions are much more clear.
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It doesn't make it better to know that he was with his now ex-girlfriend for 12 years. I'm just confused because my friends didn't give me the best advice and I don't think they're being honest with me..sometimes I feel like I should contact his ex but I know it's a stupid idea that'll turn horribly wrong..
The good thing is that when I was with him the other night he wouldn't do anything I wasn't comfortable with and I even told him I wasn't going to have sex with him anytime soon which he says he understands and is okay with.. So I guess I should just see what he's like meanwhile.?
Before I forget, thank you so much for your response! It was the most helpful =)
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I'm glad it helped you! It seems like you are taking the careful steps. :)
I was in a relationship with a lot of red flags that I ignored. I started making up excuses for him and believed them. I started saying things will change after this or that. It doesn't. I wanted to like this guy so much. I loved him truly, but as the excitement of first love began to wear off, I wondered what I had been thinking. I'm not in that relationship anymore. Once I began seeing the truth, I couldn't un-see it, and I feel out of love. I was in love with the facade.
Sounds like you took a good stand. :)Just keep looking for red flags. Good luck to you. Post on here again as things progress. We'd like to hear you are doing well, with him or without :)
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I've still been seeing him and I'm so happy to say that he hasn't tried to pressure me at all into doing anything! I don't know... but I do believe he cares for me now, at first I was very afraid he was trying to use me but he's actually been doing a lot for me and we've been going out so many places. He introduced me to his folks and showed me around his part of town... This is a good sign right? ^-^
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AnalyticalAm
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I'm glad things are working out for you. I hope everything stays comfortable for you and you find happiness. :) Best of luck. :)
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Thank you so much♥ I'll keep you updated ^-^
Wait, he's 28 and he was with this girl for 12 years. That means he was seeing her when he was 16. Earlier, you mentioned there were other girls. When did he have time for them if he was with her for the last 12 years?
personally as a guy when i was younger i would do anything to pop a girls cerry i know this makes me sound like an ass hole but its true
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but.. you'd waste so much time... what kinds of things would you do..??