1: You did not at all explain or tell what the other person was getting out of this. Do elaborate that.
2: Do you seriously think that, thinking or saying "I thought everyone did this to some extent" is some sort of justification for continuing such despicable behavior? Leading on another person is never alright. It does not matter how common it is or to what extent other people do it. Other then that this kind of behaviour should be condemned. There are many ways to cheat on a person, some do it physically others do it deceivingly by having dishonest intention. And that in and of itself is quite insolent thing to do.
3: Read again what you replied to the others comment. To one you said; "why tell them it doesn't work when it does work?" and to the other you replied "Because the person is not changing and has no ambition". Do you not see you are contradicting yourself? Unless using others and playing with their emotions gives you some kind of pleasure and peace. I mean if something like that ever happened to me, i would not have liked a worthless and deplorable creature like yourself wasting my time. Trust me people like you are never worth it. That is why breaking it of is way better (and do tell them the reason), then leading someone on. Show some God damn integrity!
Not at all. It's only your behavior of using someone that is revolting. You can actively look for someone else all you want, but the fact that you are doing it while already in a relationship is what is wrong. That is why i am saying, break it off. It will be the best for that person.
And anyway, you obviously did not answer my question, meaning your are well aware that your behavior is far from acceptable. What gives you the right to waste another persons time? if you break it off right now, that person can also go look for a better future partner, they actually really do need it.
You replied to the other user: "I like being with them, they like being with me." Hmm now try asking the person you are with "Is it normal to be with someone knowing you are looking for someone better?", and then see how long they will be with you. But you are not, because you are very well aware of the consequences and you know they will not like it. Of course they are not think of marring but still.
Seriously grow up already and stop using people and stop being a prick.
Sorry, but I don't agree with you. Everyone who is in a relationship thinks about someone else I'm sure of it. I'm not a bad person for looking, and I'm not a bad person for making someone happy in the meantime. I'm not stringing the person along like you and other users seem to think. Nothing lasts forever and maybe that's something you have a hard time dealing with.
But then, be real. If you think you are making them happy tell then your intentions. But you are not, why? Tell them about your true intention, and lets see how happy they still will be, eh?
And no, not everyone thinks of being with another while they are with someone they truly love. But of course the same can not be said for shamless people. The thing you do not understand is that, if anyone of these people who are saying you are stringing them along, were in a relationship with a person like you, they would all think you were stringing then along. Atleast go and tell that person you want nothing serious, i mean what if that person thinkss erious of you? And the only person you are making happy is yourself, by using and manipulating an other persons emotions. To call yourself bad is a gross understatment. The time you tell that person you true intentions, and that person still stays with you, that is when you are playing fair. Right now you are nothing but a despicable person.
It is actually you that are afraid to be alone, you use a pretext to be in a relationship. And as i said in my earlier comment (if you had paid attention you would have got it with you),that sure there are people who think like you, perhaps many, but do also know that these people are also considered shamless. You can't use what othes also do as a justification for your own shamless behavior.
And the contradicting thing with you (and i have seen you contradicting yourself alot when answering to other people), is that your whole post is based on asking if it is normal to do what you are doing, and you got your answer from many people that is was not. And then you have the audacity to come here and say: "Everyone who is in a relationship thinks about someone else I'm sure of it.". If you already "know", why come and ask? I don't know who you are trying to fool, but to me it seems that you know what you are doing is wrong, and now you are trying to justify things for your own conscience.
I mean I agree. If you're planning on breaking up with someone eventually, then why not break up with them as soon as you can so you dont waste their time?
Would this be a long distance relationship?
OP, you said the person isnt ambitious enough, why do they have to be ambitious?
I agree with silverline. If you truly love someone, wouldnt you want to make it work?
Love is about helping the other person, being there for each other. People may forget what helping other people means, but thats whats true about love.
You care for each other, and wanna be there with each other no matter what.
IIN to be with someone knowing you are looking for someone better?
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1: You did not at all explain or tell what the other person was getting out of this. Do elaborate that.
2: Do you seriously think that, thinking or saying "I thought everyone did this to some extent" is some sort of justification for continuing such despicable behavior? Leading on another person is never alright. It does not matter how common it is or to what extent other people do it. Other then that this kind of behaviour should be condemned. There are many ways to cheat on a person, some do it physically others do it deceivingly by having dishonest intention. And that in and of itself is quite insolent thing to do.
3: Read again what you replied to the others comment. To one you said; "why tell them it doesn't work when it does work?" and to the other you replied "Because the person is not changing and has no ambition". Do you not see you are contradicting yourself? Unless using others and playing with their emotions gives you some kind of pleasure and peace. I mean if something like that ever happened to me, i would not have liked a worthless and deplorable creature like yourself wasting my time. Trust me people like you are never worth it. That is why breaking it of is way better (and do tell them the reason), then leading someone on. Show some God damn integrity!
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Anonymous Post Author
5 years ago
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I think I understand now. In your mind, being in a relationship or dating someone is the same as being married.
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silverline
5 years ago
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Not at all. It's only your behavior of using someone that is revolting. You can actively look for someone else all you want, but the fact that you are doing it while already in a relationship is what is wrong. That is why i am saying, break it off. It will be the best for that person.
And anyway, you obviously did not answer my question, meaning your are well aware that your behavior is far from acceptable. What gives you the right to waste another persons time? if you break it off right now, that person can also go look for a better future partner, they actually really do need it.
You replied to the other user: "I like being with them, they like being with me." Hmm now try asking the person you are with "Is it normal to be with someone knowing you are looking for someone better?", and then see how long they will be with you. But you are not, because you are very well aware of the consequences and you know they will not like it. Of course they are not think of marring but still.
Seriously grow up already and stop using people and stop being a prick.
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Anonymous Post Author
5 years ago
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Sorry, but I don't agree with you. Everyone who is in a relationship thinks about someone else I'm sure of it. I'm not a bad person for looking, and I'm not a bad person for making someone happy in the meantime. I'm not stringing the person along like you and other users seem to think. Nothing lasts forever and maybe that's something you have a hard time dealing with.
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silverline
5 years ago
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But then, be real. If you think you are making them happy tell then your intentions. But you are not, why? Tell them about your true intention, and lets see how happy they still will be, eh?
And no, not everyone thinks of being with another while they are with someone they truly love. But of course the same can not be said for shamless people. The thing you do not understand is that, if anyone of these people who are saying you are stringing them along, were in a relationship with a person like you, they would all think you were stringing then along. Atleast go and tell that person you want nothing serious, i mean what if that person thinkss erious of you? And the only person you are making happy is yourself, by using and manipulating an other persons emotions. To call yourself bad is a gross understatment. The time you tell that person you true intentions, and that person still stays with you, that is when you are playing fair. Right now you are nothing but a despicable person.
It is actually you that are afraid to be alone, you use a pretext to be in a relationship. And as i said in my earlier comment (if you had paid attention you would have got it with you),that sure there are people who think like you, perhaps many, but do also know that these people are also considered shamless. You can't use what othes also do as a justification for your own shamless behavior.
And the contradicting thing with you (and i have seen you contradicting yourself alot when answering to other people), is that your whole post is based on asking if it is normal to do what you are doing, and you got your answer from many people that is was not. And then you have the audacity to come here and say: "Everyone who is in a relationship thinks about someone else I'm sure of it.". If you already "know", why come and ask? I don't know who you are trying to fool, but to me it seems that you know what you are doing is wrong, and now you are trying to justify things for your own conscience.
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redrainbow22
5 years ago
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I mean I agree. If you're planning on breaking up with someone eventually, then why not break up with them as soon as you can so you dont waste their time?
Would this be a long distance relationship?
OP, you said the person isnt ambitious enough, why do they have to be ambitious?
I agree with silverline. If you truly love someone, wouldnt you want to make it work?
Love is about helping the other person, being there for each other. People may forget what helping other people means, but thats whats true about love.
You care for each other, and wanna be there with each other no matter what.