It's that "having to walk on eggshells" feeling you have, because of your fear of getting an explosive reaction. I think that's carried over. Some women are volatile and abusive like this, and I can understand your hesitation because of this. But a lot of women are like your mother; they take so much flack from other people and just smile and bear it and it just builds and builds until something so minuscule causes an explosion. It's not a healthy way to deal with anger, and I struggle with this sometimes myself. Women are people who are only human, and that means that they, like you, were all raised in different environments under different circumstances. This can affect how they treat men and women around them, much like you're being effected due to your upbringing.
What's important is communication. You need to be open and honest with the women you're dating, tell them your feelings and why you feel like this. We aren't mind readers and often we end up confirming your fears because we didn't know they existed and weren't able to consider them. Sex with strangers/no strings attached is what I consider optimal, but even that comes with dangers of confused feelings and women and men using each other and seeing the other as a purely sexual object.
Navigating these waters is definitely a difficult task.
IIN to be utterly terrified of hurting women in any way?
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It's that "having to walk on eggshells" feeling you have, because of your fear of getting an explosive reaction. I think that's carried over. Some women are volatile and abusive like this, and I can understand your hesitation because of this. But a lot of women are like your mother; they take so much flack from other people and just smile and bear it and it just builds and builds until something so minuscule causes an explosion. It's not a healthy way to deal with anger, and I struggle with this sometimes myself. Women are people who are only human, and that means that they, like you, were all raised in different environments under different circumstances. This can affect how they treat men and women around them, much like you're being effected due to your upbringing.
What's important is communication. You need to be open and honest with the women you're dating, tell them your feelings and why you feel like this. We aren't mind readers and often we end up confirming your fears because we didn't know they existed and weren't able to consider them. Sex with strangers/no strings attached is what I consider optimal, but even that comes with dangers of confused feelings and women and men using each other and seeing the other as a purely sexual object.
Navigating these waters is definitely a difficult task.