Is it normal to be this bad with social interactions?

64% Normal
8 Comments

So basically my entire life has been lived moving from home to home, caregiver to caregiver for the first 18 years and then mostly homeless since then. I haven't had extensive periods of knowing someone, being with that person for very long. Like mother and father roles. I did have a moment of grace when I lived with one family, I had well to do and objectively decent people and guardians, and their child who was a couple years older. I think most of my morally white characteristics come from living with them. That was only three years though, average length on a span with markers on 6 months and 10 years (the first ten which I describe as an unthinking animalistic existence.)

So I've never learned how to bond, how to be a friend, how to meaningfully connect with someone. I really want to learn and I practice at work. I'm really bad though, I've been a social puppet, people have mistrusted, and usually it all ends with ceasing communication.

Sometimes I think I try too hard and seem fake, other times I get too comfortable or familiar with people. I get things wrong and I can be pretty petty in the heat of the moment. Sometimes I think I'm a psychopath learning how to be human.

How bizarre is it to develop this way in life?

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 11 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • olderdude-xx
    3 years ago

    Unfortunately far to common.

    You are not responsible for your background and what you were taught.

    You are responsible for moving forward from that once past the age of 18 (or so).

    I'm going to suggest that you read several books to start the process... and it will likely take years.

    How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age: By Dale Carnegie & Associates.

    Emotional Intelligence: By Daniel Goleman

    Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude: By Napoleon Hill & W.Clement Stone

    I wish you the best with this...

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  • ellnell
    3 years ago

    I am on the autism spectrum which I found out as an adult (it's commonly looked past in women) and that's how it feels for me and for most others on the spectrum, like we're just mimicking other people and observing how they socialize then doing the same thing which can sometimes come off as obnoxious or fake when done too much or even too little. Then again it could just be your upbringing, it's most likely played a huge part. Either way therapy could be a positive thing especially cognitive behavioural therapy where you could learn and develop your social skills and it's not as uncommon or bizzaree as you think. Many people feel this way in life whatever their reason might be, connecting with other people online who do might help you feel less lonley in this. I know that helped for me. It's so much worse when you go around feeling this uncomfortable and alien while feeling like these things comes so easy for everyone else.

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  • my_life_my_way
    3 years ago

    Pick someone who is very social/well liked and watch what they do. Stalk their social media to see what kinds of things they post and what kind of hobbies they have then write a list of that person’s traits which allow them to be so social. Then just try to imitate them and think of what they would do in any given situation.

    But on the whole, people like to be agreed with and asked about themselves. Also it helps if you subtly mimic their body language.

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    If I can learn how to act all like a peoples, so can you

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    3 years ago

    Maybe you could talk to people on the internet more if you have no one to talk to in real life. Come to this websites chat. They havr a discord too.

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    ... people have mistrusted...?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      Me, my intentions. I think it might have been thought that I'm trying to get something more than opportunities to learn or to practice it.

      There have been times I did try to become friends with people that didn't want that and I am a little oblivious so I can't say that suspicion is totally unjustified.

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      • RoseIsabella
        3 years ago

        My favorite friends are cats, and dogs.

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