I know exactly what you mean. I get it. The whole poor thing, I'm in the same situation and I went to a high school with friends that had money even if they were not really rich and compared to me, it was like having everything in the world! I dressed poorly in the first half and nobody noticed me. Then my second half I used the money I've saved up (finally, because when you're poor that's what you have to do) and bought clothing, changed my appearance a little bit and people notice. So dressing bummy is not "comfortable" and dressing "nice" is basically a requirement in society.
I'm in college now so I don't care as much but I still notice it days when I dress up and down, the variations. Differ from you though, I have both my parents. They are poor immigrants who don't speak english, therefore unable to make a good living for themselves and us. You should see our apartment, it's like shit compared to the houses of my friends' parents. I like you though because I feel like honest,educated, poor people are the most humbled when they "make it" to the 'American Dream'.
I also think fun is entitled to the rich because if you live in society, basically everything costs money to do. I stick mostly to parks and free places to have fun and exercise.
I also try very hard to not let people know I'm poor, its humiliating,even if not everyone can be wealthy. I mask it through my appearance. When I get off the bus and I'm with someone I know, I walk a circle around the neighborhood so that person doesn't know where I live and I try not to let people know exactly so very few people know my address. When I talk about home, I say "house" instead of apartment because that would indicate I'm poor or not average since it seems most people live in houses. I'm in college and I don't have my own room, its a one bedroom apartment with my brother and parents, we sleep in the living room. Sorry this is rediculous now but I felt like I could really relate and this whole thing is jumbled but it's what I'm in so feel some company in misery. :]
Is it normal to be THIS ashamed of poverty
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I know exactly what you mean. I get it. The whole poor thing, I'm in the same situation and I went to a high school with friends that had money even if they were not really rich and compared to me, it was like having everything in the world! I dressed poorly in the first half and nobody noticed me. Then my second half I used the money I've saved up (finally, because when you're poor that's what you have to do) and bought clothing, changed my appearance a little bit and people notice. So dressing bummy is not "comfortable" and dressing "nice" is basically a requirement in society.
I'm in college now so I don't care as much but I still notice it days when I dress up and down, the variations. Differ from you though, I have both my parents. They are poor immigrants who don't speak english, therefore unable to make a good living for themselves and us. You should see our apartment, it's like shit compared to the houses of my friends' parents. I like you though because I feel like honest,educated, poor people are the most humbled when they "make it" to the 'American Dream'.
I also think fun is entitled to the rich because if you live in society, basically everything costs money to do. I stick mostly to parks and free places to have fun and exercise.
I also try very hard to not let people know I'm poor, its humiliating,even if not everyone can be wealthy. I mask it through my appearance. When I get off the bus and I'm with someone I know, I walk a circle around the neighborhood so that person doesn't know where I live and I try not to let people know exactly so very few people know my address. When I talk about home, I say "house" instead of apartment because that would indicate I'm poor or not average since it seems most people live in houses. I'm in college and I don't have my own room, its a one bedroom apartment with my brother and parents, we sleep in the living room. Sorry this is rediculous now but I felt like I could really relate and this whole thing is jumbled but it's what I'm in so feel some company in misery. :]