Is it normal to be thinking of ending my relationship due to alcohol?

Well, I think it's totally wussy and pansyish of you to be a grown man who is SOOOOOOO traumatized by one incident that you pale at the mere thought of alcohol. Grow up. Having a glass and getting totally shitfaced are two differnt things and you are shivering in fear from a past incident. That is a problem with you, not anyone else.

Now, as far as your girlfriend, she sounds like an alcoholic. I don't care what anyone says. You get hammered every weekend? You're an alcoholic. I don't like drinking either. I drink like maybe once a month or once a season, maybe more, maybe even less. I was involved in a drunk driving accident where a drunk driver hit me and I broke bones. I'm not quivering in a corner anytime someone mentions alcohol, but I'm not a drinker really.

Maybe your GF is just tired of you acting like a weird ass afraid little man just becuase someone offers you a glass. On that same note, she could probably take a page from your book. Nothing worse than a trashy girl who doesn't do anything but drink. I have a couple of them in my family. It's gross, even if they are pretty.

There is a bitter judgmental tone to your post in what you expect from your gf & her family, and I can't wonder that whatever trauma you experienced is colouring this & that you may need continued support with what, after all, is YOUR problem (not theirs).

You are going to have to lighten up a bit, or frankly, just move on. These people have opened their hearts and lives to you. And you judge them, as if your personal trauma entitles you to do so somehow.

It doesn't. It is unreasonable & unfair of you to hang your trauma on these other people because they drink, and do so pretty responsibly. There is a saying about being careful around victims lest they make one of you. Think about it.

I can totally relate to you. My husband comes from a background of alcoholics. He was a drinker when I met him and he told me what he had been like in his last relationship under the influence. Not pretty. But he blamed all these events on her. After just over two years there have been 15 incidents regarding that poison in our relationship. The last time was the last straw for me where he said he was going for a walk to clear his head and knew full well where he was heading. He ignored my texts and phone call and when he did answer he would say talk to yourself and hang up. Our baby son was only four months at the time. We needed gas. Snow on the ground. Baby asleep. It was about 8ish. He would only get it if he could go back to the pub where he had been since three spending money we ain't got. He wasn't working. Coz I said don't you think you've had enough he said no and then refused to get the gas for me. I left my son with my 17 year old daughter whilst I popped out in the car to get the gas and I supplied off at the pub on my way home to speak to him. He verbally abused me put my daughter down. He got out the car slammed the door and walked back into the pub. He watched me struggle for five minutes to pull away because of the ice on the road and through the pub window he raised his bottle of beer up to me took a swig and turned his back on me. I finally got home and warmed the house up. It was freezing. He stumbled in the door about 10.45 and started. He had caused some shit down the pub with his mouth and wanted to go burn it down. He smashed the bedroom up punched the doors off the wardrobe threw one if them along with the baby bath into our sons cot. Thank god our son was downstairs with me. He broke all the hangers ripping his clothes off them. The bedroom was a mess. The neighbours had to intervene. Me and my son spent the night on the sofa as the bedroom was Fu**ed. He tried to clear it up in the morning and said he was sorry and was never gonna drink again as me any my son don't deserve that. I told him if he goes back on it we are through. The arguments we have had since because he wants a beer. He had a can last week and I'm not impressed one bit. I've had it. It goes to show what's more important to him. If he wants a sad life of drinking himself to death then he can but I'm not sticking around. I've got kids and my self well being to think about. So I fully understand where your coming from.

Wow long story, long answers, haven't read them all but i say you are very demanding. Asking of her that she never drinks in your presence is too much i say. If the fact that she drinks one glass in front of you makes you wanna leave her, leave her, find yourself a lame dontdonothinger.

PSA - EVERYONE ON THIS WEBSITE: BE CAREFUL OF "BUDTHEWISE" - HE IS A FIRST CLASS CREEP, WOMAN ABUSER, RACIST AND IGNORAMUS ... AND PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY OF HIS CRAPPY AND ABUSIVE ADVICE. PLEASE!!!

I think the real problem is that you don't respect the fact that she does drink. She shouldn't have to censor herself to make sure she never even mentions alcohol in front of you, it's not reasonable for you to expect her never to bring it up in conversation.

She DOES respect the fact that you don't drink and the fact that you don't like to be around it. She has not tried to get you to drink and she only drank in front of you once since you told her about your issues even though it's been a whole year.

She also respects your privacy, as shown by the fact that she hasn't told her parents about the reason for your choice. Most people would prefer their girlfriend's parents not to know about their weird phobias and issues. If you want her to explain your choice to them, ask her to.

But they shouldn't be looking at you strangely for not wanting wine anyway. Some people don't like wine, some don't always feel like drinking it, it's perfectly normal even for people without your issues with alcohol not to accept an offer of a glass of wine. Maybe you're imagining it or maybe you refuse the wine in a strange way.

As someone close to you, she should be supportive of you. It could be that she still doesn't fully understand, which is why she continues to bring up alcohol as though it's you who needs to make way for everyone else.

"she would have much more respect for my abstaining from it if I was a recovering alcoholic"
- are those her own words? If so, then it does suggest that she doesn't grasp your feelings about alcohol. With alcoholism, the problem is easier to see and more straightforward, whereas the trauma that you've experienced may be harder for her to relate to.

I would suggest that you go and see a therapist for what sounds like PTSD and have a sit-down talk with her about the points that you've brought up here (assuming that you haven't done these things already.)