I don't think they should be told that "sex is evil", as it could cause issues in their mind later but more like sex is a "grown up" thing, like driving a car or paying taxes. Nothing they should worry about at the moment.
And also when you teach a kid that sex is evil, if they ever get victim of sexual abuse, they feel terrible for having done something evil, leading to depression, over sexualisation, self destructive behaviour and even suicide.
I had sled dogs growing up and 6 out of 8 of them were mean and would’ve hurt me.
When I was very young I was told “Don’t touch the sled dogs, sled dogs are mean”
When I got a little older I was taught “You can touch these 2 dogs, but not the others, the others are mean”
Was it a bit of a lie and a blunt statement I was first taught? Yes, but it was what would get through to my childish mind. Later when I could handle more information I was retaught how to handle them.
I think the same teaching mentality can be used towards sex. Though you bring up a good point of them fearing that they might have done the wrong thing. I was taught it clean cut “This should never happen. If it happens, you need to tell me.” and sadly that’s what I ended up having to follow when I fell victim.
I wish I had a better idea of what to do to prevent the feeling of it being their own fault, but I’m drawing a blank.
I think that "This should never happen. If it happens, you need to tell me." is a great thing to say. I know it happened to you from a previous comment you made once and I'm really sorry about it. I've known several people in the same situation, most of them being my girlfriends, and I tried to help them the best I could.
What is really hard to make victims understand most of the time is that it's not their fault and they aren't responsible for what happened.
I think a way tha tcould work with children is to treat the abuse like a "random" bad thing, like someone hitting them or stealing their food for example. So they don't think about it too much and can move on without being locked inside the loop of suffering.
I had it figured out from the start it wasn’t my fault so I never had that guilt or shame, but for those who felt the other way around I can’t imagine how mentally taxing that must be.
I’m helping raise my nephew with his mom right now and he’s getting to the age where all of this shit starts to become relevant and I feel like I’m floundering trying to do my best role. So much pressure to get it right.
Making it seem like it isn’t a big deal may spare the kid from future trauma but also could make it so they feel like it’s less urgent to be talked about when it happens. The situation is just so fucked it’s a shame we even have to try to teach our children about how to handle a scenario that should never ever happen in a just world.
Well the world isn't fair, you of all people know that. But the danger is just changing from where and when you live. If you live in the jungle, you have to teach kids about feral animals. If you live in the cold, you have to teach kids about frostbites. And if you live with humans, you have to teach kids about the danger of other humans.
Kids should NEVER be taught that sex is evil, nor that it’s wrong to show your body. Kids will have a much healthier view of their sexuality if they learn early!
IIN to be thankful to pornography industry despite negative side effects?
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I don't think they should be told that "sex is evil", as it could cause issues in their mind later but more like sex is a "grown up" thing, like driving a car or paying taxes. Nothing they should worry about at the moment.
And also when you teach a kid that sex is evil, if they ever get victim of sexual abuse, they feel terrible for having done something evil, leading to depression, over sexualisation, self destructive behaviour and even suicide.
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KholatKhult
3 years ago
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Jennifer21
3 years ago
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I think it’s more of a temporary teaching.
I had sled dogs growing up and 6 out of 8 of them were mean and would’ve hurt me.
When I was very young I was told “Don’t touch the sled dogs, sled dogs are mean”
When I got a little older I was taught “You can touch these 2 dogs, but not the others, the others are mean”
Was it a bit of a lie and a blunt statement I was first taught? Yes, but it was what would get through to my childish mind. Later when I could handle more information I was retaught how to handle them.
I think the same teaching mentality can be used towards sex. Though you bring up a good point of them fearing that they might have done the wrong thing. I was taught it clean cut “This should never happen. If it happens, you need to tell me.” and sadly that’s what I ended up having to follow when I fell victim.
I wish I had a better idea of what to do to prevent the feeling of it being their own fault, but I’m drawing a blank.
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DIO
3 years ago
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I get your point. I think that's fair.
I think that "This should never happen. If it happens, you need to tell me." is a great thing to say. I know it happened to you from a previous comment you made once and I'm really sorry about it. I've known several people in the same situation, most of them being my girlfriends, and I tried to help them the best I could.
What is really hard to make victims understand most of the time is that it's not their fault and they aren't responsible for what happened.
I think a way tha tcould work with children is to treat the abuse like a "random" bad thing, like someone hitting them or stealing their food for example. So they don't think about it too much and can move on without being locked inside the loop of suffering.
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KholatKhult
3 years ago
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I had it figured out from the start it wasn’t my fault so I never had that guilt or shame, but for those who felt the other way around I can’t imagine how mentally taxing that must be.
I’m helping raise my nephew with his mom right now and he’s getting to the age where all of this shit starts to become relevant and I feel like I’m floundering trying to do my best role. So much pressure to get it right.
Making it seem like it isn’t a big deal may spare the kid from future trauma but also could make it so they feel like it’s less urgent to be talked about when it happens. The situation is just so fucked it’s a shame we even have to try to teach our children about how to handle a scenario that should never ever happen in a just world.
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DIO
3 years ago
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Well the world isn't fair, you of all people know that. But the danger is just changing from where and when you live. If you live in the jungle, you have to teach kids about feral animals. If you live in the cold, you have to teach kids about frostbites. And if you live with humans, you have to teach kids about the danger of other humans.
Kids should NEVER be taught that sex is evil, nor that it’s wrong to show your body. Kids will have a much healthier view of their sexuality if they learn early!
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KholatKhult
3 years ago
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Jennifer, sweetie, go play in traffic, the adults are talking