Normalizing sexual things in a kids life is not a good thing. At all. When you normalize sexual situations it dilutes their senses to if someone were to take advantage of them. Sex needs to remain a big and scary dangerous act in the most over exaggerated way until they are mature enough to be retaught.
Kids are simple, things are very black and white for them for a good long while, they need to be taught that “sex is evil” until they are old enough to understand that sex is much more complicated and can be taught about the many factors of it.
When I worked on the border I came into contact with abused children who were raised around casual sex. There would be 12 year old kids that would try to bribe guards with sex and it would scare the shit out of us because it was so abhorrent that they were taught this.
Children should NOT “figure their sexual identity or interests out” at a young age. This is a very dangerous thing.
I don't think they should be told that "sex is evil", as it could cause issues in their mind later but more like sex is a "grown up" thing, like driving a car or paying taxes. Nothing they should worry about at the moment.
And also when you teach a kid that sex is evil, if they ever get victim of sexual abuse, they feel terrible for having done something evil, leading to depression, over sexualisation, self destructive behaviour and even suicide.
I had sled dogs growing up and 6 out of 8 of them were mean and would’ve hurt me.
When I was very young I was told “Don’t touch the sled dogs, sled dogs are mean”
When I got a little older I was taught “You can touch these 2 dogs, but not the others, the others are mean”
Was it a bit of a lie and a blunt statement I was first taught? Yes, but it was what would get through to my childish mind. Later when I could handle more information I was retaught how to handle them.
I think the same teaching mentality can be used towards sex. Though you bring up a good point of them fearing that they might have done the wrong thing. I was taught it clean cut “This should never happen. If it happens, you need to tell me.” and sadly that’s what I ended up having to follow when I fell victim.
I wish I had a better idea of what to do to prevent the feeling of it being their own fault, but I’m drawing a blank.
I think that "This should never happen. If it happens, you need to tell me." is a great thing to say. I know it happened to you from a previous comment you made once and I'm really sorry about it. I've known several people in the same situation, most of them being my girlfriends, and I tried to help them the best I could.
What is really hard to make victims understand most of the time is that it's not their fault and they aren't responsible for what happened.
I think a way tha tcould work with children is to treat the abuse like a "random" bad thing, like someone hitting them or stealing their food for example. So they don't think about it too much and can move on without being locked inside the loop of suffering.
I had it figured out from the start it wasn’t my fault so I never had that guilt or shame, but for those who felt the other way around I can’t imagine how mentally taxing that must be.
I’m helping raise my nephew with his mom right now and he’s getting to the age where all of this shit starts to become relevant and I feel like I’m floundering trying to do my best role. So much pressure to get it right.
Making it seem like it isn’t a big deal may spare the kid from future trauma but also could make it so they feel like it’s less urgent to be talked about when it happens. The situation is just so fucked it’s a shame we even have to try to teach our children about how to handle a scenario that should never ever happen in a just world.
Well the world isn't fair, you of all people know that. But the danger is just changing from where and when you live. If you live in the jungle, you have to teach kids about feral animals. If you live in the cold, you have to teach kids about frostbites. And if you live with humans, you have to teach kids about the danger of other humans.
Kids should NEVER be taught that sex is evil, nor that it’s wrong to show your body. Kids will have a much healthier view of their sexuality if they learn early!
Yo I'm not saying that at all! I'm just saying dont block pornhub on the kids computer is all. Let them grow at there own pace is what I mean. I feel I should of said that better
Oh thank god.
You scared the shit out of me I was ready to have a panic attack!
I know the overly pure and innocent butterflies and rainbows approach to interacting with children can be seen as silly, but it serves a very important protective and developmental role.
Regulation is a major task in parenting, you need to set based and steps as to what can be introduced and when. Kids are idiots. I adore children, but they are idiots. They can’t be trusted to take things “at their own pace” because they don’t have a concept of pace yet.
Some do have a concept of pace. I think it has to do with upbringing. Idk I hated my childhood my parents and others taught me alot. The amount of things I learned just observing even from that young age. Idk maybe I'm just a weirdo.
I understand what you mean though. Just I see so many parents continue to baby there kids even after the point of hey it's time to be serious. I get it I do. I mean as much as a non parent can get it if that makes sense. I'm glad you understand I'm not that big of a freak though. I dont know if you've seen it but I bitch about the way kidd dress these days. My last job sold mini dresses for girls. Like just out of toddlers up to teenagers. Not even a joke. It's disgusting.
IIN to be thankful to pornography industry despite negative side effects?
↑ View this comment's parent
← View full post
Ahhhh no no no no no
Normalizing sexual things in a kids life is not a good thing. At all. When you normalize sexual situations it dilutes their senses to if someone were to take advantage of them. Sex needs to remain a big and scary dangerous act in the most over exaggerated way until they are mature enough to be retaught.
Kids are simple, things are very black and white for them for a good long while, they need to be taught that “sex is evil” until they are old enough to understand that sex is much more complicated and can be taught about the many factors of it.
When I worked on the border I came into contact with abused children who were raised around casual sex. There would be 12 year old kids that would try to bribe guards with sex and it would scare the shit out of us because it was so abhorrent that they were taught this.
Children should NOT “figure their sexual identity or interests out” at a young age. This is a very dangerous thing.
--
DIO
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
3
3
-
Mammal-lover
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
I don't think they should be told that "sex is evil", as it could cause issues in their mind later but more like sex is a "grown up" thing, like driving a car or paying taxes. Nothing they should worry about at the moment.
And also when you teach a kid that sex is evil, if they ever get victim of sexual abuse, they feel terrible for having done something evil, leading to depression, over sexualisation, self destructive behaviour and even suicide.
--
KholatKhult
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
1
1
-
Jennifer21
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
I think it’s more of a temporary teaching.
I had sled dogs growing up and 6 out of 8 of them were mean and would’ve hurt me.
When I was very young I was told “Don’t touch the sled dogs, sled dogs are mean”
When I got a little older I was taught “You can touch these 2 dogs, but not the others, the others are mean”
Was it a bit of a lie and a blunt statement I was first taught? Yes, but it was what would get through to my childish mind. Later when I could handle more information I was retaught how to handle them.
I think the same teaching mentality can be used towards sex. Though you bring up a good point of them fearing that they might have done the wrong thing. I was taught it clean cut “This should never happen. If it happens, you need to tell me.” and sadly that’s what I ended up having to follow when I fell victim.
I wish I had a better idea of what to do to prevent the feeling of it being their own fault, but I’m drawing a blank.
--
DIO
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
I get your point. I think that's fair.
I think that "This should never happen. If it happens, you need to tell me." is a great thing to say. I know it happened to you from a previous comment you made once and I'm really sorry about it. I've known several people in the same situation, most of them being my girlfriends, and I tried to help them the best I could.
What is really hard to make victims understand most of the time is that it's not their fault and they aren't responsible for what happened.
I think a way tha tcould work with children is to treat the abuse like a "random" bad thing, like someone hitting them or stealing their food for example. So they don't think about it too much and can move on without being locked inside the loop of suffering.
--
KholatKhult
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
I had it figured out from the start it wasn’t my fault so I never had that guilt or shame, but for those who felt the other way around I can’t imagine how mentally taxing that must be.
I’m helping raise my nephew with his mom right now and he’s getting to the age where all of this shit starts to become relevant and I feel like I’m floundering trying to do my best role. So much pressure to get it right.
Making it seem like it isn’t a big deal may spare the kid from future trauma but also could make it so they feel like it’s less urgent to be talked about when it happens. The situation is just so fucked it’s a shame we even have to try to teach our children about how to handle a scenario that should never ever happen in a just world.
--
DIO
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Well the world isn't fair, you of all people know that. But the danger is just changing from where and when you live. If you live in the jungle, you have to teach kids about feral animals. If you live in the cold, you have to teach kids about frostbites. And if you live with humans, you have to teach kids about the danger of other humans.
Kids should NEVER be taught that sex is evil, nor that it’s wrong to show your body. Kids will have a much healthier view of their sexuality if they learn early!
--
KholatKhult
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Jennifer, sweetie, go play in traffic, the adults are talking
Yo I'm not saying that at all! I'm just saying dont block pornhub on the kids computer is all. Let them grow at there own pace is what I mean. I feel I should of said that better
--
KholatKhult
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Oh thank god.
You scared the shit out of me I was ready to have a panic attack!
I know the overly pure and innocent butterflies and rainbows approach to interacting with children can be seen as silly, but it serves a very important protective and developmental role.
Regulation is a major task in parenting, you need to set based and steps as to what can be introduced and when. Kids are idiots. I adore children, but they are idiots. They can’t be trusted to take things “at their own pace” because they don’t have a concept of pace yet.
--
Mammal-lover
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Some do have a concept of pace. I think it has to do with upbringing. Idk I hated my childhood my parents and others taught me alot. The amount of things I learned just observing even from that young age. Idk maybe I'm just a weirdo.
I understand what you mean though. Just I see so many parents continue to baby there kids even after the point of hey it's time to be serious. I get it I do. I mean as much as a non parent can get it if that makes sense. I'm glad you understand I'm not that big of a freak though. I dont know if you've seen it but I bitch about the way kidd dress these days. My last job sold mini dresses for girls. Like just out of toddlers up to teenagers. Not even a joke. It's disgusting.