Get away from him. Threatening to kill himself if you leave him is abuse. See http://www.domesticviolence.org/what-is-abuse/
I have some experience with cutting off manipulative and abusive people who were threatening suicide, and this is what's worked for me.
1) Tell him it's over. I suggest that you don't do this in person. Do it over the phone or online. I know that sounds harsh, but it's a lot easier to maintain a bit of distance if the other person isn't physically there, and it's safer. If possible, you might want to have a friend sit in the room with you while you break up with him. I had a friend sit with me while I broke up with my manipulative ex over the phone. She didn't say anything, and he didn't know she was there, but just having another person in the room helped me keep things in perspective.
2) If/when he threatens suicide, call emergency medical services. Do NOT comfort him or try to dissuade him. He's threatening suicide to manipulate you. If you call 911 (or whatever the equivalent is where you live) and tell them his address (or phone number, if you don't have his address) and that he said he's going to kill himself, they'll check on him. That way, if he does try anything or is going to, he gets the help he needs. If he doesn't attempt suicide, he gets the message that if he tells you he's going to, you're not going to play games. Either way, he gets what he needs without pulling you back into it.
3) Don't let him persuade you to come back. In my experience, there are two things that have helped me a lot with this step. The first is cutting off contact after the break up, at least for a while. Block him online. Don't answer him if he calls, and block his number if possible. You can't afford to interact with him while you're emotionally vulnerable, which you probably will be after breaking up. The second thing is talking to other people about it. If there's a friend who you can talk to about what he's doing and how he reacts, that can really help keep you from losing perspective and getting sucked back in.
If you don't have anyone you feel like you can talk to about this, if you need support, or if you have any questions, shoot me an email at [email protected]
Is it normal to be stuck in a suicidal relationship?
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Get away from him. Threatening to kill himself if you leave him is abuse. See http://www.domesticviolence.org/what-is-abuse/
I have some experience with cutting off manipulative and abusive people who were threatening suicide, and this is what's worked for me.
1) Tell him it's over. I suggest that you don't do this in person. Do it over the phone or online. I know that sounds harsh, but it's a lot easier to maintain a bit of distance if the other person isn't physically there, and it's safer. If possible, you might want to have a friend sit in the room with you while you break up with him. I had a friend sit with me while I broke up with my manipulative ex over the phone. She didn't say anything, and he didn't know she was there, but just having another person in the room helped me keep things in perspective.
2) If/when he threatens suicide, call emergency medical services. Do NOT comfort him or try to dissuade him. He's threatening suicide to manipulate you. If you call 911 (or whatever the equivalent is where you live) and tell them his address (or phone number, if you don't have his address) and that he said he's going to kill himself, they'll check on him. That way, if he does try anything or is going to, he gets the help he needs. If he doesn't attempt suicide, he gets the message that if he tells you he's going to, you're not going to play games. Either way, he gets what he needs without pulling you back into it.
3) Don't let him persuade you to come back. In my experience, there are two things that have helped me a lot with this step. The first is cutting off contact after the break up, at least for a while. Block him online. Don't answer him if he calls, and block his number if possible. You can't afford to interact with him while you're emotionally vulnerable, which you probably will be after breaking up. The second thing is talking to other people about it. If there's a friend who you can talk to about what he's doing and how he reacts, that can really help keep you from losing perspective and getting sucked back in.
If you don't have anyone you feel like you can talk to about this, if you need support, or if you have any questions, shoot me an email at [email protected]