Its normal to still have those feeling for him, especially cause your relationship was a unique one at that. I think that you should just let it go. Move on. It's not easy, trust me I am going through something similar. I know I have to move on. If he is not there I need to find someone else. I am sure that you can't keep it a secret forever. Why haven't you told anyone. There is a website called okcupid and its free to join and you might meet some other guys there if dating under the table is what you are looking for. You must move on, he already has. He is too busy for you and if he loved you then he would show and tell you. He is not worth your time, because worrying about it is not going to make him love you and he is a really big jerk for not wanting to return your calls. Its normal to still love him, you just have to move on though.
Is It normal to be still in love with him?
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Its normal to still have those feeling for him, especially cause your relationship was a unique one at that. I think that you should just let it go. Move on. It's not easy, trust me I am going through something similar. I know I have to move on. If he is not there I need to find someone else. I am sure that you can't keep it a secret forever. Why haven't you told anyone. There is a website called okcupid and its free to join and you might meet some other guys there if dating under the table is what you are looking for. You must move on, he already has. He is too busy for you and if he loved you then he would show and tell you. He is not worth your time, because worrying about it is not going to make him love you and he is a really big jerk for not wanting to return your calls. Its normal to still love him, you just have to move on though.