Yeah, for me it's the same. I was traumatized at a very young age in front of a group of people and since then there have been times where I managed to crawl out of the shell and just be myself. Now I live in it like the nicotine craving turtle I am. I think I just lost my job. But besides that, the social anxiety becomes really severe when you are around successful people that expect so much out of you where you cannot deliver and then you just break, like an egg. Now there's yolk everywhere and something as small as simply writing a response to an inquiry on IIN seems like something I shouldn't do, because people don't deserve to hear my cries. Oh, but then I don't cry, to harden your heart is very much real. They say you're are on your own and life is a game of survival. If you still have close allies then you're alright because everyone needs somebody to lean on. This is my statement and nothing aimed at you. Some people are mean, and will bluntly begin to say disrespectful things about you, in front of you, in public because if you bite into that damn taco and make too much noise, you've got to make amends for disturbing the peace only because you were trying to enjoy a stupid taco. People should mind their own business and not judge others so loudly but they do, and they're cruel. At the end of the day you wonder, who's in the right? Is it wrong that society scapegoats people? It's better when you just don't give a damn about what anyone else thinks. Who's to blame when you you fall victim to putting up with the all the bullshit? No wonder you have these antisocial characters. But hey I guess it was my own choice to push my luck and dance with demons. Not Cool. Social anxiety is real, they have treatments for it. Humpty Dumpty can probably be put back together as long as he doesn't carelessly sit on top of the wall again knowing it wasn't a good idea to begin with. Most people are like fucking bees, hear them buzzing they'll sting you when you aggravate them.
It sounds to me like Humpty got pushed off the wall and now fears it, rather than the act of sitting on the wall being inherently dangerous.
I've been in the dumps ALOT and it was recently that I discovered that being mistreated & betrayed wasn't the status quo for everyone, even though it seemed to be for me. You will, like me, find a wall you can sit on with a good friend and no one pushing you off. You can eat tacos there all day long and it will be fun.
You deserve this! Keep on reaching for it! It will come!
Is it normal to be so insecure, that you feel you don't deserve much?
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Yeah, for me it's the same. I was traumatized at a very young age in front of a group of people and since then there have been times where I managed to crawl out of the shell and just be myself. Now I live in it like the nicotine craving turtle I am. I think I just lost my job. But besides that, the social anxiety becomes really severe when you are around successful people that expect so much out of you where you cannot deliver and then you just break, like an egg. Now there's yolk everywhere and something as small as simply writing a response to an inquiry on IIN seems like something I shouldn't do, because people don't deserve to hear my cries. Oh, but then I don't cry, to harden your heart is very much real. They say you're are on your own and life is a game of survival. If you still have close allies then you're alright because everyone needs somebody to lean on. This is my statement and nothing aimed at you. Some people are mean, and will bluntly begin to say disrespectful things about you, in front of you, in public because if you bite into that damn taco and make too much noise, you've got to make amends for disturbing the peace only because you were trying to enjoy a stupid taco. People should mind their own business and not judge others so loudly but they do, and they're cruel. At the end of the day you wonder, who's in the right? Is it wrong that society scapegoats people? It's better when you just don't give a damn about what anyone else thinks. Who's to blame when you you fall victim to putting up with the all the bullshit? No wonder you have these antisocial characters. But hey I guess it was my own choice to push my luck and dance with demons. Not Cool. Social anxiety is real, they have treatments for it. Humpty Dumpty can probably be put back together as long as he doesn't carelessly sit on top of the wall again knowing it wasn't a good idea to begin with. Most people are like fucking bees, hear them buzzing they'll sting you when you aggravate them.
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It sounds to me like Humpty got pushed off the wall and now fears it, rather than the act of sitting on the wall being inherently dangerous.
I've been in the dumps ALOT and it was recently that I discovered that being mistreated & betrayed wasn't the status quo for everyone, even though it seemed to be for me. You will, like me, find a wall you can sit on with a good friend and no one pushing you off. You can eat tacos there all day long and it will be fun.
You deserve this! Keep on reaching for it! It will come!
good luck humpty, i enjoyed your post