It's normal, yes, but "normal" doesn't necessarily make it right. I mean, with the bigoted culture we live in, many sexually repressed men feel the same way you do. They are told from a young age that their desires are wrong and so they suppress them and pretend to be "normal" aka straight (being gay is totally normal to by the way but not in the eyes of bigots). These men internalize society's messages of homophobia, and some even become homophobic themselves - aggressively hating on openly gay people, who remind them of their true natures.
I understand your situation and I empathize with it. It must be very confusing, and you probably feel very guilt-ridden. But I also empathize with your wife. If there's one thing in the universe that I hate more than anything else, it's being lied to. I think the ethical thing to do would be to be honest with your wife, but this will most-likely hurt her feelings, at least at first, until she gets over it (but you never know! she could have already known you were gay and she could be a closet lesbian herself!) If you still love her as a friend, and if you have a sensitive temperament, this could be difficult for you - it *could* ruin your relationship with her, but I'm sure its better than living a lie? It's a difficult situation, and no matter what anyone else says, it's a decision you have to make for yourself. I wish both you and your wife the best of luck.
is it normal to be sexually conufused and married to a woman?
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It's normal, yes, but "normal" doesn't necessarily make it right. I mean, with the bigoted culture we live in, many sexually repressed men feel the same way you do. They are told from a young age that their desires are wrong and so they suppress them and pretend to be "normal" aka straight (being gay is totally normal to by the way but not in the eyes of bigots). These men internalize society's messages of homophobia, and some even become homophobic themselves - aggressively hating on openly gay people, who remind them of their true natures.
I understand your situation and I empathize with it. It must be very confusing, and you probably feel very guilt-ridden. But I also empathize with your wife. If there's one thing in the universe that I hate more than anything else, it's being lied to. I think the ethical thing to do would be to be honest with your wife, but this will most-likely hurt her feelings, at least at first, until she gets over it (but you never know! she could have already known you were gay and she could be a closet lesbian herself!) If you still love her as a friend, and if you have a sensitive temperament, this could be difficult for you - it *could* ruin your relationship with her, but I'm sure its better than living a lie? It's a difficult situation, and no matter what anyone else says, it's a decision you have to make for yourself. I wish both you and your wife the best of luck.