restricting yourself would seem to be more distractive in this case since you say you want it and it's driving you bat shit crazy.
In our society, there's a tendency to put a lot of stress on people to be successful and be part of the "system." There's all this pressure, but what about being happy? Are you fulfilled? Being successful can be part of being happy, but overall I've found happiness is more important than success. Despite what you may believe, restricting yourself is actually doing you more harm than good.
Is it normal to be restrictive?
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restricting yourself would seem to be more distractive in this case since you say you want it and it's driving you bat shit crazy.
In our society, there's a tendency to put a lot of stress on people to be successful and be part of the "system." There's all this pressure, but what about being happy? Are you fulfilled? Being successful can be part of being happy, but overall I've found happiness is more important than success. Despite what you may believe, restricting yourself is actually doing you more harm than good.