The relationship is going to end. You being possessive, emotionally dependent and clingy isn't a cute little quirk people have to accept. No. It's a problem no one with a healthy self-esteem wants to deal with. You can't control who he hangs out with or the friendships he make. You can't tell him how to spend his day. All those insecurities you're pushing on him will just make him run from you.
I've suffered from depression and I have anxiety, so I know how difficult it can be to open up and deal with life day by day. However, you can't use your mental illnesses as an excuse for how you treat people. You shouldn't allow depression (or any other illnesses) to define who you are, because all you're doing is making yourself miss out on opportunities to make friends and grow as a person; you trap yourself in an endless loop of, "I'm too depressed..." or worse, "You know I'm clingy/depressed/etc, so why do you do/say this!"
I'm sure your boyfriend isn't perfect and have faults of his own, but this is about you. You need to straighten up, or you're going to find yourself in a bunch of relationships that end with the guy leaving or cheating.
My advice, work on your self-esteem. Read self-help guides for your depression (Believe me, they're out there and easy to find, because I refused to take medication). Eat fruits, and get full 8 hours of sleep. Search for coping stills for stress, and meditate or do yoga. All this works if you're serious about becoming a healthier you. However, do this when you feel ready to, but don't make your problems other people's responsibility.
ok tealights: i'm not the OP(original poster) but i have to respond to your comment anyways. i completely disagree with everything you said. it's almost like you're some jealous girlfriend trying to break them up. i don't know what kind of relationship you think people should have, i'm glad you made a long detailed comment but you're judging this girl and her boyfriend so authoritatively it's laughable. i love clingy girlfriends and WISH any of my gfs were like that. unfortunately, all of mine have sounded more like you which is basically summed up as "boyfriends are a dime a dozen".
Basically, you're the person looking over the fence and thinking the grass is greener on the other side.
Until you experience someone who is extremely insecure and always making it your responsibility to manage their own insecurity, you have no idea what you're taking about. Clingy, insecure partners are the worse, because they don't know how to love themselves, so they expect you to boost their self-esteem with the relationship. This can lead to controlling your friendships, extreme jealousy, multiple emotional outbursts, guilt-tripping, and emotional abuse that start so innocently and playfully, that you don't even see how serious it is at first. Then it snowballs into something so stressful that you get buried in it, which leaves you the choice to dig yourself out or stay and freeze.
If you really want an insecure girlfriend and experience all this, why not talk to the OP after her relationship ends? Isn't she just what you're looking for?
IIN to be really uncomfortable with your bf hanging out with girls
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I'm going to give you some harsh advice.
The relationship is going to end. You being possessive, emotionally dependent and clingy isn't a cute little quirk people have to accept. No. It's a problem no one with a healthy self-esteem wants to deal with. You can't control who he hangs out with or the friendships he make. You can't tell him how to spend his day. All those insecurities you're pushing on him will just make him run from you.
I've suffered from depression and I have anxiety, so I know how difficult it can be to open up and deal with life day by day. However, you can't use your mental illnesses as an excuse for how you treat people. You shouldn't allow depression (or any other illnesses) to define who you are, because all you're doing is making yourself miss out on opportunities to make friends and grow as a person; you trap yourself in an endless loop of, "I'm too depressed..." or worse, "You know I'm clingy/depressed/etc, so why do you do/say this!"
I'm sure your boyfriend isn't perfect and have faults of his own, but this is about you. You need to straighten up, or you're going to find yourself in a bunch of relationships that end with the guy leaving or cheating.
My advice, work on your self-esteem. Read self-help guides for your depression (Believe me, they're out there and easy to find, because I refused to take medication). Eat fruits, and get full 8 hours of sleep. Search for coping stills for stress, and meditate or do yoga. All this works if you're serious about becoming a healthier you. However, do this when you feel ready to, but don't make your problems other people's responsibility.
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GreyHulk99
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ok tealights: i'm not the OP(original poster) but i have to respond to your comment anyways. i completely disagree with everything you said. it's almost like you're some jealous girlfriend trying to break them up. i don't know what kind of relationship you think people should have, i'm glad you made a long detailed comment but you're judging this girl and her boyfriend so authoritatively it's laughable. i love clingy girlfriends and WISH any of my gfs were like that. unfortunately, all of mine have sounded more like you which is basically summed up as "boyfriends are a dime a dozen".
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Thorolf
7 years ago
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Tealights
7 years ago
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You don't want a clingy girlfriend bro.
Basically, you're the person looking over the fence and thinking the grass is greener on the other side.
Until you experience someone who is extremely insecure and always making it your responsibility to manage their own insecurity, you have no idea what you're taking about. Clingy, insecure partners are the worse, because they don't know how to love themselves, so they expect you to boost their self-esteem with the relationship. This can lead to controlling your friendships, extreme jealousy, multiple emotional outbursts, guilt-tripping, and emotional abuse that start so innocently and playfully, that you don't even see how serious it is at first. Then it snowballs into something so stressful that you get buried in it, which leaves you the choice to dig yourself out or stay and freeze.
If you really want an insecure girlfriend and experience all this, why not talk to the OP after her relationship ends? Isn't she just what you're looking for?